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1-Who Am I?(without judgments or comparisons) JUST THE FACTS
2-Where Am I Now? (without judgments or comparisons) JUST THE FACTS 3-What Do I REALLY Want? (v/s faulty beliefs limiting self narrative or based in external pressure)THINK "VALUES" 4-Set Goals (Set only a few small measurable actionable goals.) THINK BABY STEPS. Set "S.M.A.R.T GOALS 5-How far am I from point A (now) to point B (goal) (PLAN actionable small steps to get from A to that goal) 6-Pencil in time in your present day for(goal work)Mark the time out of your day as if you had an appointment 7-Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Daily. (Do) the actions daily (as a Habit/ Routine rather than focus on the end goal) 9-Remember to Rest & Refuel 9-Re-asses (Evaluate as you go weekly/monthly) Redirect (If NECESSARY) 10-Periodically Return to step 1 and (repeat repeat repeat) Revisit your values to remind yourself why your making the changes that you are. Review your goals daily.S.M.A.R.T. Goals is an acronym that means SMALL MEASURABLE REALISTIC AND TRACK-ABLE. Get inspired by surrounding yourself with others (or, other podcasts blogs bloggers and books): if you have no other mentors; the internet can be your coach and mentor, that are achieving what you want to achieve. Refuel: Take care of yourself. Don't get burnt out baby-steps and self care is critical. Re-asses along the way if you are making progress toward the goal with what you have decided to do in your daily habits/routines. If your not making the kind of headway you wish to make consider a new way to approach the problem. Try a different habit on for size until you find one that works for you. Any movement in the right direction is progress. First things first know yourself and how you operate what strategies have worked for you in the past what has failed? What motivates you what demotivates you? What do you really want, you yourself, not what anyone wants for you. How do you learn best? Why do you want what you want? How do you learn? What are your current habits? What's working what could work better, what would you like to change? Why do you do what you do? Why do you think you can't do what you want to do? Whats holding you back? Figure out your big goals for life. Be realistic but dream BIG! Break it down; what are your big goals for five years, 3 years, this year? If you don't have a goal to head toward you will fly blindly through the day to day without a plan and each day each action and choice will lead some place weather you wish it to or not; you just simply wont be in control at all about the general aims of these destinations. You may find yourself looking backward at ten years gone by with no movement nothing to note but the daily grind nothing to say and looking forward to the dreams in your head, that will remain just that, dreams. Life is the cumulative process of our daily practices. We have 365 days a year to act. Small actions repeatedly are what creates our reality as it is our future success and failure as we define it to be. Theirs nothing that sets me apart from you or you apart from anyone else. In-order to be successful at anything you have to love it. The love of it will eliminate the motivation factor we can easily rise early and go to the activities and dreams we truly desire and find joy in doing. Even through difficult circumstances and the hurdles and the sacrifice the WHY and the WHAT you have decided to do means so much to you it becomes an easy choice to do.
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EMOTIONAL IQ : WHAT IS IT? | Emotional Intelligence: What is it? And why is it important? The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. This is a tall order for many, master yourself first, before you master life. Emotions are the quality through which we experience our lives. The same experience had in a negative mood state, perspective, or negatively assigned meaning will be experienced as bad; while in a positive mood state, perspective, and meaning that serves you, will be experienced as good; and the bad less painful. You will proceed in action and coping in healthy in helpful ways in your life when you can see clearly through and work in concert with your emotions. And it is a key to empathize with the feelings of others rather than assume or project your own feelings upon others. "emotional intelligence is important because it is the key to both personal and professional success and happiness" |
IF YOU CAN NAME THE BEAST YOU CAN TAME THE BEAST
BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY DESCRIBE YOUR EMOTIONS
| Identifying your true emotions. Expanding your emotional vocabulary. Why it's important? There are six basic emotions, and approximately estimated to be twenty seven possible emotions humans can feel, and many more words available to describe those feelings. Emotions are felt on a spectrum: some of us are so detached from our emotional self that if we were asked what we felt we honestly would not have an answer we wouldn't know; while on the other end of the extreme some of us are so intensely connected to our emotions that we are hijacked by them act according to our feelings and even perceive them to be accurate facts; rather than simply one more sense and tool to take into account for the valuable information and insights they provide. If you wish to gain more control over your emotions you must be able to comprehend accurately what you are really feeling. We have superficial feelings like anger that arise to hide, the deeper more accurate and painful emotions, like rejection loss grieving etc. There are also many more words than "Happy" to describe blessed, grateful, joyous, exuberant, etc In order to tone down or tap in to your emotions in order to have a less chaotic life as a result of being overly reactive or an empty isolated feeling life as a result of not being able to understand yourself and gain insight into your wants needs wishes and desires and for all to have more meaningful peaceful relationships you must have the vocabulary to describe accurately the REAL emotion beneath the superficial and begin to ask yourself WHY am I feeling this way. Remember emotions come from within. In order to accurately describe your genuine feelings to deal with them effectively in a way that serves you in life you must have the vocabulary to express the feeling accurately. Also remember that feelings are felt in the body as well as in the mind. Learn to listen to and feel the bodily ques and connect them with their corresponding emotions. | |
WHY BOTHER ATTEMPTING TO COMPREHEND AND CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS?
WHY ATTEMPT EMOTIONAL MASTERY
COMPREHENDING EMOTIONS STEP 1 | E-IQ: Why invest in growing your emotional mastery? Feelings aren't facts but they are valid and valuable information. They exist in us for a reason. They are a piece of the puzzle. Just as the rest of our senses, touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smell. Emotions are a sense that we should be intimately in touch with and competently comprehend. Emotions are not as straight forward as they appear to be. It takes work and effort to track backward accurately what truly triggered a specific emotion in you once you can identify what that emotion is. They are not facts, they are not from without they are made from within, a negative mood-state could be attributed to anything from a negative situation or a bit of indigestion from a bad burrito you ate. But once you begin to be able to accurately identify and understand your own emotional information and accurately identify where it came from you can then begin to address what triggers negativity and add what triggers positivity in your emotional state ; that then translates to a more positive quality through which you experience life. As stated above the quality of your emotions is going to dictate the quality of your life; and the health of your resilience, coping capacity, stress management, suffering, satisfaction, fulfillment, action, success, happiness, and relationships with others. The more you understand what you feel and why you feel it the more you can verbalize your wants needs and desires, set boundaries, set goals and dreams, limit what hurts, add what helps. Creating a much happier life for yourself. And the more you comprehend, honor, control, and effectively manage, feel, and healthfully react to your own feelings; the happier you will be, the more you will understand yourself, the better you feel about yourself the better you expect to be treated; and when we can deeply connect with our own true emotions we gain the capacity to recognize all humankind have these emotions the more your empathy and treatment of others improves. |
"HE WHOM MASTERS HIMSELF IS MORE POWERFUL THAN HE WHOM CONQUERS THE CITY"
A cognitive distortion is when your mind tricks you into perceiving and believing things that are not factual nor true. There are many cognitive distortions; and they tend to leave us falsely convinced that ourselves, our life, and our world, is more negative than it actually is.
Below is a list of 15 of the more common cognitive distortions
1. Filtering - This occurs when we pick out a single negative aspect of a situation to focus on and magnify it while minimizing or entirely excluding to be aware of the positive elements of the situation so that the overall vision we are left with is one of overwhelming negativity.
An example of this would be focusing on the cake frosting being the wrong color on your wedding day. So extremely is this error magnified and intently focused on and the totality of the rest of the preparations minimized that your left with the feeling that "the whole day is going to be a disaster!" because of one tiny detail.
2. Polarized thinking also known as black and white thinking - This is when an individual has a hard time seeing and navigating the many shades of grey in life as well as difficulty with identity and relating with others. A situation, a person, even themselves are either/or not both/and or possibly.
An example of this would be when you do well at something you are a success or a good person, if you fail or do poorly you are a terrible or bad person. There is no in-between. Everything is all one way or the other and that can change depending on the moment.
3. Over-Generalization - This occurs when we take a solitary or few small instances and expand them to appear to be an endless pattern of bad luck, misery, defeat etc.
An example of this is if you were not very popular in grade school you continue to assume as a given that people simply will not or can not like or accept you into your adulthood and may maintain this belief for the duration of your life based on faulty evidence expanded.
4. Jumping to conclusions - This is when we bypass any evidence or verification of our gut reaction/instinct toward a situation or person and make a determination in our minds about what something is or means.
An example of this is that your spouse or partner seems quiet and down and you automatically assume that you are the problem and have done something to upset them or that there is trouble in your relationship without so much as asking the other person what is upsetting them that likely may have nothing to do with you or the relationship you are sure of your conclusion.
5. Catastrophizing - Happens when we leap to the worst possible scenario or outcome in a situation. Often catastrophic thinking comes with a lot of worry anxiety and "what if this happened." types of thinking.
An example of this would be if your partner/spouse is a little late arriving home after work and you automatically begin to fear or suspect they are having an affair. This is also jumping to conclusions. Or a second example would be that you feel a flutter in your chest and are automatically convinced this is a heart attack.
6. Personalization - This is when we presume that what other people do or say is a direct result of us.
As mentioned above your downtrodden partner is upset because of something you did would be an example of this thinking. Seeing your boss angry and presuming you have made some mistake on the job would be another example.
7. Control Fallacies - If we feel as though we are being controlled; we will be the victim of life, fate, at the mercy of everything rather than having power and agency in our lives. If we feel as though we are able to control too much; we are left feeling unrealistically responsible for the emotions and choices of others and things outside of our control.
An example of this is when we find ourselves feeling responsible for the emotions of other people; or when we feel that we have no control over our own emotions and behaviors, that we have no agency.
8. Fallacy of Fairness- This is the belief that life is always fair and just. What creates negativity with this beleif system is when there is dissonance between the belief and the reality. When bad things happen to good people, when the right person is turned down for the promotion and it is given to a new comer with no experience due to nepotism; for instance. This fosters confusion and other negative feelings.
9. Blaming - This happens when we hold other people responsible for our emotions and behaviors or conversely we blame ourselves for theirs.
An example of this is when we lash out in anger losing our temper in a disagreement and blame the other person for "making" us feel angry. In truth no one can control another persons emotions or behaviors.
10. Shoulds - This occurs when we have an unconscious beleif system about how ourselves and others "should" behave. This thinking pattern leaves us feeling angry at others when they don't act accordingly and guilty or shameful with ourselves when we fall outside of our expectations.
An example of this is whenever you catch yourself saying things like "Well you should have.... or I should..." Try eliminating the word should from your vocabulary for a more beneficial term such as could. Don't "Should" on yourself.
11. Emotional Reasoning - This happens when we believe that our emotions are facts. If you feel bored or lazy than you ARE boring and lazy. Emotions are information but not to be taken as literal fact.
An example of this is when we catch ourselves reacting to our emotions rather than taking them into account and acting with our logic; or when we catch ourselves identifying ourselves as the emotion we are feeling.
12. Fallacy of change. This is when we try to change others. We do this often times because we believe that our own happiness hinges entirely upon the other person/persons. This leaves us feeling powerless on many levels and often frustrated or disappointed.
An example of this if readily found in romantic relationships when a partner believes they can shape, mold, or change the other person.
13. Global labeling - This is an extreme version of overgeneralizing, when an individual takes a minute situation aspect or moment and defines their entire perspective, self, or life based upon it.
An example of this would be when we try something a test for instance and we fail. Taking that solitary instance of failing a test and transforming it into a belief that you are always have been and always will be a failure.
14. Always being right- This occurs when we have the belief that we must always be right. Being wrong is so unthinkable that we become close minded to any other points of view and fight to justify ourselves even if the information is shown to be incorrect.
An example of this would be an inability to successfully resolve conflicts as you often find you have to have the last word and final say because you "know" your opinion is the "right" point of view.
15. Heavenly Reward Fallacy- You may also think of this as martyrdom. The belief that our self sacrifice denial etc will pay off in the end. Consistently thinking in such a manner leaves us feeling disappointed, frustrated, etc when the reward or anticipated payback doesn't come.
An example of this is when you put your own needs on the back burner to support your spouse/partner's aspirations. When you become the "rescuer" for an addicted loved one. Or find yourself in any way putting your own life on the back burner under the faulty assumption that their will be some positive benefit outcome or praise waiting for you in the end as a result of this self sacrificing.
It is useful to attempt to recognize common cognitive distortions in ourselves because they are nonfactual interpretations of the world, others, and ourselves, that only serve to leave us frequently experiencing life as more negative than it actually is.
If you find yourself somewhere in the above list don't feel ashamed these are common distortions of reality perception. Do however do your best to address the miss perception for the betterment of your experience of life, self, relationships, and mood.
Cognitive distortions can be hard to recognize and even harder to change because they are false beliefs and a beleif is hard to change. If you realize you may have some you may need to consider seeking professional help to assist you in navigating adapting your perception and approach to life for a better overall quality of life.
Do you know who you are?
Do you feel at a loss to gain a more clear and objective perspective on the person that you are at this present juncture in your life; your positive and negative character and personality attributes, positive and negative habits and routines, what you value or could value, what you believe or could believe that would serve you better?
In order to become a better more contended, fulfilled, and happier version of ourselves we have to know where we are starting from. Many of us struggle to get an objective view of ourselves.
We are held down and held back: shackled by such things as faulty self definitions from past trauma, mistakes, inability to forgive ourselves and move on from our own shortcomings (if we are able to recognize them), being trapped in the false pretenses of societal and other expectations of ones worth and what constitutes identity; such as what you do for a living or what possessions you own; internalized standards, expectations and outright opinions of others ringing in your ears, being strapped in the trance of unworthiness brought about by our intrinsic instinctual need to belong and be loved yet inherent nagging self belief that if others knew us for the totality in which we know ourselves they would never see us as worthy of that love and belonging. Amongst so many other barriers to a more accurate self insight and objective awareness of the self, not as you perceive or believe yourself to be, but as you actually are.
In this world when it comes to our social relationships like attracts like. And at times like propels like.
We tend to unconsciously befriend those people whom share common ground and commonalities with ourselves. We attract people that are like us to ourselves. It has even been said that we are the sum total of our five closest friends. Because not only do we attract those whom are already possess similarities to ourselves, our likes and interests, our background and experiences, our cultures and faith base, sense of humor, perspectives, values, and belief systems, and the list goes on. But there is also a feedback loop of influence extending from you towards your circle and from your social circle unto you that evolves and deepens over time. If most of your friends are overweight you are statistically more likely to be overweight. If most of your friends are sports fanatics you are statistically likely to already be, or become, a sports-fanatic yourself. This being because like attracts like as well as that inherent desire to belong to the group we unconsciously alter our behaviors to fit better within the group. This feedback loop is one of the many reasons why it is important to choose your friends very carefully as well as to try not being the alpha in the group so that we rise to the level of those that we surround ourselves with rather than hold ourselves down or back to achieve this instinctual need to belong to your tribe.
Taking this into consideration if you are a little fuzzy on who you are, what you value, what you stand for, what you like, what you are about, how you come across in this life take a good look at the closest people to you.
More than likely: even if you do not see these characteristics or character attributes in yourself; if you take the time to truly examine what constitutes your inner circle and those people whom are attracted to being around you a mirror will be held up to you to examine yourself. It is often easier to see others more objectively than we can see ourselves. What are the attributes of those that surround you that are a reflection of that which you posses, value, or aspire for in yourself?
The contrary is also true that we unconsciously deflect and repel and project onto others those things which we wish to deny distance and dislike about ourselves. If you find a particular person or type of person unappealing or frustrating rather than focusing on your dislike ask yourself what you dislike about this person and what does that say about you? It may serve to highlight something you highly value in yourself such as your independence and this person is highly dependent upon others, or your kindness and this person is highly critical and selfish. However the very traits and aspects that bother you about another person may in fact be a deflection and projection because it reminds you of a characteristic of yourself that you are not so pleased with and wish to distance yourself from and every time you see them they serve as a reminder of that which you dislike about yourself.
Birds of a feather flock together, already akin to one another, and then they influence each other and fly off into the same direction in formation. So if you want a clear view of who you are and where you might be headed take a look at your closest people. Further still take a look at those attributes and individuals that ruffle your feathers and ask yourself why that is. Is that other bird, that other person truly different from you in a way that doesn't reconcile with your own value system hence giving you more clarity on your own value system, or in fact are they too a bird like you merely a place for you to project and deny that which you are but are in denial about and/or a reflection too of the lesser desirable aspects of you that you wish to distance yourself from and they serve as a reminder?
There is even one other option for disliking another that can be telling of ones self. And that is admiration and feeling less than. Just as we do not like to be reminded of our negative traits reflected in another we also may feel insecure for reasons we can not pinpoint when we find ourselves around certain individuals. This may not mean that you dislike them, it may in fact to the contrary mean that you admire them or some attribute about them, that you feel you do not but would like to posses. And seeing this person, and that characteristic you admire but find lacking in yourself, in this other person causes you to feel less than and so you end up spinning that on its head into distancing and disliking the individual.
So if you are unsure what constitutes you and you would like to get a clearer perspective so that you know where you are starting from so that you may begin to cultivate more of what you want to be and less of what you don't in yourself take a good look at both the people you like the most and those you like the least asking not what it says about them but what do my sentiments say about me?
Do you feel at a loss to gain a more clear and objective perspective on the person that you are at this present juncture in your life; your positive and negative character and personality attributes, positive and negative habits and routines, what you value or could value, what you believe or could believe that would serve you better?
In order to become a better more contended, fulfilled, and happier version of ourselves we have to know where we are starting from. Many of us struggle to get an objective view of ourselves.
We are held down and held back: shackled by such things as faulty self definitions from past trauma, mistakes, inability to forgive ourselves and move on from our own shortcomings (if we are able to recognize them), being trapped in the false pretenses of societal and other expectations of ones worth and what constitutes identity; such as what you do for a living or what possessions you own; internalized standards, expectations and outright opinions of others ringing in your ears, being strapped in the trance of unworthiness brought about by our intrinsic instinctual need to belong and be loved yet inherent nagging self belief that if others knew us for the totality in which we know ourselves they would never see us as worthy of that love and belonging. Amongst so many other barriers to a more accurate self insight and objective awareness of the self, not as you perceive or believe yourself to be, but as you actually are.
In this world when it comes to our social relationships like attracts like. And at times like propels like.
We tend to unconsciously befriend those people whom share common ground and commonalities with ourselves. We attract people that are like us to ourselves. It has even been said that we are the sum total of our five closest friends. Because not only do we attract those whom are already possess similarities to ourselves, our likes and interests, our background and experiences, our cultures and faith base, sense of humor, perspectives, values, and belief systems, and the list goes on. But there is also a feedback loop of influence extending from you towards your circle and from your social circle unto you that evolves and deepens over time. If most of your friends are overweight you are statistically more likely to be overweight. If most of your friends are sports fanatics you are statistically likely to already be, or become, a sports-fanatic yourself. This being because like attracts like as well as that inherent desire to belong to the group we unconsciously alter our behaviors to fit better within the group. This feedback loop is one of the many reasons why it is important to choose your friends very carefully as well as to try not being the alpha in the group so that we rise to the level of those that we surround ourselves with rather than hold ourselves down or back to achieve this instinctual need to belong to your tribe.
Taking this into consideration if you are a little fuzzy on who you are, what you value, what you stand for, what you like, what you are about, how you come across in this life take a good look at the closest people to you.
More than likely: even if you do not see these characteristics or character attributes in yourself; if you take the time to truly examine what constitutes your inner circle and those people whom are attracted to being around you a mirror will be held up to you to examine yourself. It is often easier to see others more objectively than we can see ourselves. What are the attributes of those that surround you that are a reflection of that which you posses, value, or aspire for in yourself?
The contrary is also true that we unconsciously deflect and repel and project onto others those things which we wish to deny distance and dislike about ourselves. If you find a particular person or type of person unappealing or frustrating rather than focusing on your dislike ask yourself what you dislike about this person and what does that say about you? It may serve to highlight something you highly value in yourself such as your independence and this person is highly dependent upon others, or your kindness and this person is highly critical and selfish. However the very traits and aspects that bother you about another person may in fact be a deflection and projection because it reminds you of a characteristic of yourself that you are not so pleased with and wish to distance yourself from and every time you see them they serve as a reminder of that which you dislike about yourself.
Birds of a feather flock together, already akin to one another, and then they influence each other and fly off into the same direction in formation. So if you want a clear view of who you are and where you might be headed take a look at your closest people. Further still take a look at those attributes and individuals that ruffle your feathers and ask yourself why that is. Is that other bird, that other person truly different from you in a way that doesn't reconcile with your own value system hence giving you more clarity on your own value system, or in fact are they too a bird like you merely a place for you to project and deny that which you are but are in denial about and/or a reflection too of the lesser desirable aspects of you that you wish to distance yourself from and they serve as a reminder?
There is even one other option for disliking another that can be telling of ones self. And that is admiration and feeling less than. Just as we do not like to be reminded of our negative traits reflected in another we also may feel insecure for reasons we can not pinpoint when we find ourselves around certain individuals. This may not mean that you dislike them, it may in fact to the contrary mean that you admire them or some attribute about them, that you feel you do not but would like to posses. And seeing this person, and that characteristic you admire but find lacking in yourself, in this other person causes you to feel less than and so you end up spinning that on its head into distancing and disliking the individual.
So if you are unsure what constitutes you and you would like to get a clearer perspective so that you know where you are starting from so that you may begin to cultivate more of what you want to be and less of what you don't in yourself take a good look at both the people you like the most and those you like the least asking not what it says about them but what do my sentiments say about me?
Stress is something we all encounter in our lives. Whether we are cramming for a test, trying to finish a work project on time, shuffling the kids around, or simply become overwhelmed by the basic demands of living.
We needn't have major stressors in our lives for the cumulative effect of stress to begin to become detrimental to our physical health. Stress particularly long term stress, under-managed stress, or too frequent stress can make you physically sick.
Stress isn't merely a psychological state or emotional feeling; but neurochemical and hormonal physical changes that are transmitted throughout the entire body system.
Stress can change the brain itself along with affecting many organ systems.
In response to stress the adrenal gland releases cortisol, epinephrine, and nor-epinephrine; as these hormones travel through your system adrenaline courses through your bloodstream into your heart, causing your heart rate to speed up in the short term, and in the long-term may lead to hypertension. Cortisol begins to change the surface of the cell membranes eventually these type of changes lead to atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis is a disease of the arteries characterized by the deposition of plaques of fatty material on their inner walls. Atherosclerosis and hypertension are risk factors for stroke and heart disease.
The brain sensing stress turns on the autonomic nervous system and it communicates with the digestive tract. In the short term this may cause nausea, diarrhea, or cramps. In the long term this makes you more sensitive to acid, and to produce more acid, hence more likely to have heartburn and eventually GERD. It also effects the flora and fauna of your microbiome: which scientists now know is a key factor not just your digestive health but your overall health; our gut is said to be our second brain. 80% of our serotonin, a happy hormone, is produced in the gut. Dysbiosis of the gut microbiome can lead to a wide array of downstream health and mental health disturbances and conditions.
Stress hampers the effectiveness of our immune system making us more vulnerable to colds and viruses. This is believed in part to be due to the immune systems response to cortisol levels rising in the bloodstream indicating to receptors in the immune system that the body is under stress and it needs to ramp up in order to defend against this stressor. However if you have had prolonged or extreme exposure to stress , hence long exposure to cortisol, the immune receptors responsible for responding to the stressors signal of the cortisol triggered when you catch a cold infection or virus becomes resistant to responding to this signal after being bathed in it for a long duration due to psychological or emotional stress. The immune system on whole is already weakened by the extended exposure to unmanaged or accumulated stress. As its cascade of response is triggered in part by cortisol, even if you are not exposed to a cold, virus, or infection: your immune system is chronically activated due to the high cortisol circulating in the blood stream. This leaves you more prone to getting sick as your immune system is already taxed even if you are still responsive to cortisol receptors; as well as leaving you systemically feeling exhausted and fatigued a general sense of malaise as your body believes it is fighting something when nothing is there. It takes alot of metabolic energy to operate the immune system and if yours is always actively "ON", it will leave you feeling fatigued and lethargic .
Cortisol causes the accumulation of fat to be stored around the middle belly region. This is not just subcutaneous fat, the fat just beneath the skin, but visceral fat, the dangerous fat that wraps around and can wrap into our organs causing organ damage. Having a majority of your excess weight stored around the middle puts you at increased risk for type 2 diabetes, and cardiovascular disease, especially compounded in women. Stress eating is more than just a negative coping mechanism, stress itself alters our hormone regulation, causing us to eat more and gain weight. This coupled with the cortisol's propensity to put that weight down in the most dangerous places further emphasizes the real impacts of mental and emotional stress on the physical body increasing the risks of the aforementioned diseases to a greater extent.
"According to several studies, chronic stress impairs brain function in multiple ways. It can disrupt synapse regulation, resulting in the loss of sociability and the avoidance of interactions with others. Stress can kill brain cells and even reduce the size of the brain."
-Touro University-
"Chronic stress has a shrinking effect on the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for memory and learning.
While stress can shrink the prefrontal cortex, it can increase the size of the amygdala, which can make the brain more receptive to stress. “Cortisol is believed to create a domino effect that hard-wires pathways between the hippocampus and amygdala in a way that might create a vicious cycle by creating a brain that becomes predisposed to be in a constant state of fight-or-flight,”
Christopher Bergland writes in Psychology today
To hit a superficial nerve, stress not only impacts your interior health but your exterior health as well. Beyond accumulating a belly and generally gaining weight, via chronic poorly managed stress levels, it can also cause acne, and grey your hair.
Further stress causes changes in the proteins of your skin and reduces it's elasticity, causing wrinkling and premature aging.
This is by far not a comprehensive list of the detrimental impact of psychological and emotional stress on the physical body and state of your immediate and long term health.
I am not a doctor or an expert the above facts have been acquired throughout the years from a wide variety of sources if you wish to verify the accuracy of these statements or search further into the topic I highly encourage you to do so.
Most people do not take stress that seriously.
They know they are under stress on a daily basis. They can "feel" it. But they do not do anything to attend to it as they presume it is just an uncomfortable mental or emotional state that is harmless to be endured and moved past without processing addressing or coping with it. They do not realize it has real and dangerous implications on their physical health.
I wanted to write this article for the blog this month to draw attention to the fact that the uncomfortable state you are feeling is neither purely emotional or mental, nor harmless, that it creates real detrimental impacts on your physical health in the short and long term.
Don't just PUSH THROUGH or PUSH DOWN your stress.
Learn to cope with and process stress in a healthy manner as a priority. As a cornerstone to your physical well-being not simply to "feel better"; but to live better, and longer in a healthier state.
Hopefully the examples I have laid out here will make you take a second glance at your own stress levels, sources, and management styles in your life to see if perhaps you could make management of stress more of a priority for your overall well-being.
Emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
P.L.E.A.S.E - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Technique
P-PHYSICAL ILLNESS L-LOVE YOURSELF E-EXCERSIZE A-AVOID DRUGS S-SLEEP E-EATING
P.L.E.A.S.E
The (PLEASE SKILL) is taken from dialectical behavioral therapy as a method to promote better mood regulation and decision and action control by setting a proper physical foundation. In order to be in the drivers seat of our own choices more easily we must maintain the best physiological state of well being possible for us to achieve.
It is also a clear and simple road map to self care essentials. When our body is working at our individual best we're able to function in our lives better and more readily absorb the good in life that surrounds us.
Have you ever heard the term - "HANGRY.".. in other words: I get angry when I'm hungry.
If a little hunger can make us irritable: just imagine how much more dysfunctional we feel and approach life when we are in a poor state such as pain, illness, chronic sleep deprivation; and the like.
Our bodily constitution plays a major roll in our ability to participate in, derive joy from, and make wise decisions in our lives. The preceding mnemonic device "PLEASE" is meant as a helpful reminder what needs balanced inorder to keep our physical selves running as optimally and smoothly as possible.
Lets very briefly delve a little deeper into each letter.
P - PHYSICAL ILLNESS- It is not just important or suggested but imperative to treat temporary and manage chronic physical illness. From working to the bone through the common cold, exercising with a sprain, to neglecting proper management of asthma or diabetes: your body and mental and emotional states will truly suffer immediately and in the long term; for ignoring tending to physical illness.
L- LOVE YOURSELF (I took some liberties here the l actually goes with illness which makes little sense and seemed redundant to me) Love your body from head to toe. Learning to embrace the skin your in. Have gratitude for the body you possess that moves you through this wonderful thing called life. All its organs, cells, flexibility, and the possibility it offers you will make you more inclined to want to take care of your physical self properly. Make your body your friend not your enemy or your aesthetic project.
E- EXCERCISE - Yes yes you know. But we were made to move. Sedentary lives are shorter lives. Physical movement makes the body feel better, it also releases dopamine and endorphins, increasing feel good hormones for your emotions and sense of accomplishment for your mind-state.
A- Avoid Drugs - Yes Yes you know this too. I give you credit that your intelligent so I needn't elaborate.
S-SLEEP - Again I am sure you have heard this a million times but have you made it a priority?
There are always a million more important things to do than this it seems. Sleep is the only time our body has to regenerate during the deep sleep phase. The REM or dreaming stage is important for our mind to recover and process memories from the day into long term storage. Each stage of sleep has important benefits to our overall health and reaching each is really important. Deep sleep is the time of day we produce HGH, which we produce less of as we age, and it is important in healing and recovery. Also sleep is the only time our brains street sweepers come in and clear away dead cell derby staving off alzheimers and other similar disorders in old age.
Reduced sleep leaves you in a similar state to having had a few drinks in your capacity to function and remember and control your emotions. Besides waking ready for the day, sleep is a key aspect to our overall health in a big way, remember withholding sleep is a torture device for a reason.
E- EATING - Food primarily and simply stated is fuel for our body and information that releases chemical signals. If you put junk in you get junk out; physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you put nothing in or overfill the engine you don't run well. It's important for daily balance as well as longevity to consider how you eat and what you eat.
You really are what you eat.
Hopefully the PLEASE skill offered you something to put in your mind to remind yourself from time to time. If your feeling, thinking, or acting out of balance how to redirect the course through balancing the fundamentals of the physical body with a little TLC.
Sometimes your not unhappy your physically unwell and focusing on the above list, especially if it has been unbalanced or neglected, can balance the rest and bring you back to a place of peace.
P-PHYSICAL ILLNESS L-LOVE YOURSELF E-EXCERSIZE A-AVOID DRUGS S-SLEEP E-EATING
P.L.E.A.S.E
The (PLEASE SKILL) is taken from dialectical behavioral therapy as a method to promote better mood regulation and decision and action control by setting a proper physical foundation. In order to be in the drivers seat of our own choices more easily we must maintain the best physiological state of well being possible for us to achieve.
It is also a clear and simple road map to self care essentials. When our body is working at our individual best we're able to function in our lives better and more readily absorb the good in life that surrounds us.
Have you ever heard the term - "HANGRY.".. in other words: I get angry when I'm hungry.
If a little hunger can make us irritable: just imagine how much more dysfunctional we feel and approach life when we are in a poor state such as pain, illness, chronic sleep deprivation; and the like.
Our bodily constitution plays a major roll in our ability to participate in, derive joy from, and make wise decisions in our lives. The preceding mnemonic device "PLEASE" is meant as a helpful reminder what needs balanced inorder to keep our physical selves running as optimally and smoothly as possible.
Lets very briefly delve a little deeper into each letter.
P - PHYSICAL ILLNESS- It is not just important or suggested but imperative to treat temporary and manage chronic physical illness. From working to the bone through the common cold, exercising with a sprain, to neglecting proper management of asthma or diabetes: your body and mental and emotional states will truly suffer immediately and in the long term; for ignoring tending to physical illness.
L- LOVE YOURSELF (I took some liberties here the l actually goes with illness which makes little sense and seemed redundant to me) Love your body from head to toe. Learning to embrace the skin your in. Have gratitude for the body you possess that moves you through this wonderful thing called life. All its organs, cells, flexibility, and the possibility it offers you will make you more inclined to want to take care of your physical self properly. Make your body your friend not your enemy or your aesthetic project.
E- EXCERCISE - Yes yes you know. But we were made to move. Sedentary lives are shorter lives. Physical movement makes the body feel better, it also releases dopamine and endorphins, increasing feel good hormones for your emotions and sense of accomplishment for your mind-state.
A- Avoid Drugs - Yes Yes you know this too. I give you credit that your intelligent so I needn't elaborate.
S-SLEEP - Again I am sure you have heard this a million times but have you made it a priority?
There are always a million more important things to do than this it seems. Sleep is the only time our body has to regenerate during the deep sleep phase. The REM or dreaming stage is important for our mind to recover and process memories from the day into long term storage. Each stage of sleep has important benefits to our overall health and reaching each is really important. Deep sleep is the time of day we produce HGH, which we produce less of as we age, and it is important in healing and recovery. Also sleep is the only time our brains street sweepers come in and clear away dead cell derby staving off alzheimers and other similar disorders in old age.
Reduced sleep leaves you in a similar state to having had a few drinks in your capacity to function and remember and control your emotions. Besides waking ready for the day, sleep is a key aspect to our overall health in a big way, remember withholding sleep is a torture device for a reason.
E- EATING - Food primarily and simply stated is fuel for our body and information that releases chemical signals. If you put junk in you get junk out; physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you put nothing in or overfill the engine you don't run well. It's important for daily balance as well as longevity to consider how you eat and what you eat.
You really are what you eat.
Hopefully the PLEASE skill offered you something to put in your mind to remind yourself from time to time. If your feeling, thinking, or acting out of balance how to redirect the course through balancing the fundamentals of the physical body with a little TLC.
Sometimes your not unhappy your physically unwell and focusing on the above list, especially if it has been unbalanced or neglected, can balance the rest and bring you back to a place of peace.
Of all our obligations, aspirations, and priorities in life; we all too frequently find ourselves pushing rest and restoration to the bottom of the list; that is if it even makes it onto the list.
We are given this one body and it must carry us through the duration of our lives. Imagine if you had but one vehicle that you could drive for your entire life just how imperative maintenance and care would be in order for that vehicle to continue to function it's best possible as each successive day, year, and decade passes.
It is normal when we are young to feel well and immortal running our bodies through the ringer: like taking that vehicle two tracking through the woods; eating copious amounts of junk food, staying up late and sleeping little, neglecting and/or overdoing exercise and physical activity, over indulgences such as 24 hour benders of our favorite shows, imbibing too much alcohol or other drugs, engaging in risky situations with potentially nefarious characters, giving in to nearly every momentary whim, and pushing our bodies and minds to the brink in the pursuit of our goals and aspirations. All of this without a second thought to rest and restoration or the cumulative affects that our lifestyle might have already taken upon us that we won't recognize until years down the line.
As we age we become more aware of the realities of our own health, fragility, and mortality. It seems as though this basic truth, if you don't have your health you cannot fully participate in appreciate and enjoy your life, only reveals itself to us ever more clearly the older we become.
We cannot go backward in time and begin to take better care of our physical body and self as a whole entity we can however start now. Wherever and however we presently find ourselves in our physical constitution, lifestyle, and prioritization of time in a day, to begin to make our bodies our friends recognize them as an essential aspect of our ability to travel through this plane of life with the best quality of life possible, and an integral aspect of doing so is to begin to recognize that rest and restoration is not an option but an essential.
Our brains, as well as the total machinery that makes up our body systems as a whole, requires rest and restoration to restore and rebuild.
When I refer to rest I am referring specifically to consistently obtaining adequate sleep, that being 7 to 8 hours, ideally per night. It has been shown that even three consecutive nights of sleep deprivation produce the same adverse affects on the mind body and performance as being under the influence of mild alcohol intoxication. Adequate amounts of sleep per night has numerous affects beyond simply making us feel more energized alert focused and capable of handling the tasks of the day to come. During sleep our brain processes the day's experiences into our long term memory catalog. Sleep deprivation therefore interferes with integrating new experiences and learning into accessible memories. Cerebral spinal-fluid also cleanses the brain during sleep washing away toxins. Sleep is also the only time that helps produce cells responsible for clearing dead cells and cells that restore brain tissues. Scientists hypothesis this may have a roll to play in the prevention of the development of dementia in later life. Deep sleep (stage 4) is critical for bodily regeneration and hormonal regulation while in (stage 3)deep sleep bodily functions are dropped to their lowest point and oxygen rich blood is redirected to the muscles and the brain. Both of these sleep cycles are important for the overall healing and restoration of the body as a whole. Human beings have an innate capacity to regenerate restore and heal itself, to a certain degree, when all the systems involved in this process are functioning properly: and obtaining adequate consistent sleep is one fundamental aspect of this regeneration process. These are among just a few of the crucial roles proper sleep plays in the healthy functioning of our bodies in the short and long term there are many others. I wanted to delve a little into the specific benefits of attempting to prioritize and obtain adequate sleep: because we all too often underestimate the vital role it plays in our immediate focus attention energy coping thresholds; and particularly it's inherent and indispensable value in our long term cognitive and physical health. Proper sleep has numerous health and restoration benefits that cannot be obtained through any other means. With this in mind please consider raising sleep to being to see it as the vital priority it is rather than a hindrance to the busyness of life we so readily and frequently sacrifice.
When I speak of restoration I am referring to all other means of mind body soul and self care that requires us to slow down and make a conscious decision to acknowledge and enact the importance of rest and recovery beyond maintenance of proper sleep.
If you are on a regular regime of exercising the workout itself doesn't build up your bodily systems to the contrary, by in large, it causes minor stress responses in the entire body as well as tiny tears in muscles strains and stress to joints and tendons etc. The stress response evokes the immune system to repair damage from the minor stress induced from working out both strengthening the immune system and the bodies ability to tolerate mild levels of dyshomeostasus which our body is constantly trying to maintain. This affect allows us to tolerate mild stressors and physical dysregulation with greater ease. It does not however build and restore the homeostasis and cumulative damage caused via exercise. It is essential when engaging in a regular exercise routine to include light days and total rest days. As it is only on the rest days where the injuries and stresses can repair themselves and build themselves stronger than they were previously. If you resist the rest days you only continuously tear your body down risk injury and perpetuate the immune and stress responses. As stated previously our body has the capacity to self heal, but it can only achieve this healing and even growth, if we make ourselves do what may feel contradictory and stop the continuous exercise allowing rest and recovery days. This is where the building and bodily repair is.
If you are not in the habit of regular exercise, life itself still has you on the go, people to see, places to go, something always needs our attention it seems. From the constant pinning of social network notifications, to the electric bill, that laundry basket heaping over the brim and onto the floor, our healthcare, our home care, our social connections, responsibilities, obligations, professions, families to name but a few. The endless list of to do's never to be done every day something new finds it's way onto that list, into our calendars, or email inboxes. If we allow it to do so, the very act of daily living can wear your resources physically, mentally, and emotionally, to the bare bones. It is essential that you carve out some time for yourself to do all three of these forms of restoration: relaxation, stillness, and pleasure into your life. Relaxation is taking the time to allow your body to rest and restore. This can take the form of gentle exorcise such as a walk in nature, stretching, light yoga or tai chi, or laying down, even taking a nap if necessary, our body needs to heal itself and we need to enable it the opportunity to do so. Stillness is restoration for the mind. This can take many forms as well from prayer and meditation, to laying in the grass and watching the clouds roll by, getting lost in a book or a favorite song for instance. Pleasure is the conscious decision to step away from the work of life into the life of life. Make time in your days to do things and be with people that bring you joy. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", is a saying that has stood the test of time for a reason. Pleasure is for your spirit and soul. If living begins to feel like an endless chore it will quickly suck the joy right out of you. We have to make a decision that our lives and our selves are worth stepping back enough to make room for the things we truly enjoy to fit in regularly.
We live in a society that is based on the chase. The so called 'American Dream", a never ending pursuit of productivity, goal, dream success, and aspiration chasing: and in this is the ever present unspoken but inherent connotation of our self worth; as indicated by our "capacity" to keep up, to go go go, be productive, to achieve and to "succeed." There is nothing inherently wrong with having goals dreams and aspirations quite to the contrary it is healthful to have these as aspects of our lives but far too often they become our lives. They take over our lives and we lose our-lives, ourselves, our self esteem, and most importantly our internal peace; to the faulty notion that our worth is in our achievements and ability to wring productivity or progress out of every single second of each day. Living this way too long is damaging to all levels of our health: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual; and will leave you feeling drained and empty at a minimum and legitimately physically ill and clinically depressed at a maximum.
So please for all of the reasons noted in this blog post: as well as many many many others I could spotlight but chose not to as this post is sufficiently long as it already, prioritize yourself by making rest and restoration an essential and regular part of your life.
We are given this one body and it must carry us through the duration of our lives. Imagine if you had but one vehicle that you could drive for your entire life just how imperative maintenance and care would be in order for that vehicle to continue to function it's best possible as each successive day, year, and decade passes.
It is normal when we are young to feel well and immortal running our bodies through the ringer: like taking that vehicle two tracking through the woods; eating copious amounts of junk food, staying up late and sleeping little, neglecting and/or overdoing exercise and physical activity, over indulgences such as 24 hour benders of our favorite shows, imbibing too much alcohol or other drugs, engaging in risky situations with potentially nefarious characters, giving in to nearly every momentary whim, and pushing our bodies and minds to the brink in the pursuit of our goals and aspirations. All of this without a second thought to rest and restoration or the cumulative affects that our lifestyle might have already taken upon us that we won't recognize until years down the line.
As we age we become more aware of the realities of our own health, fragility, and mortality. It seems as though this basic truth, if you don't have your health you cannot fully participate in appreciate and enjoy your life, only reveals itself to us ever more clearly the older we become.
We cannot go backward in time and begin to take better care of our physical body and self as a whole entity we can however start now. Wherever and however we presently find ourselves in our physical constitution, lifestyle, and prioritization of time in a day, to begin to make our bodies our friends recognize them as an essential aspect of our ability to travel through this plane of life with the best quality of life possible, and an integral aspect of doing so is to begin to recognize that rest and restoration is not an option but an essential.
Our brains, as well as the total machinery that makes up our body systems as a whole, requires rest and restoration to restore and rebuild.
When I refer to rest I am referring specifically to consistently obtaining adequate sleep, that being 7 to 8 hours, ideally per night. It has been shown that even three consecutive nights of sleep deprivation produce the same adverse affects on the mind body and performance as being under the influence of mild alcohol intoxication. Adequate amounts of sleep per night has numerous affects beyond simply making us feel more energized alert focused and capable of handling the tasks of the day to come. During sleep our brain processes the day's experiences into our long term memory catalog. Sleep deprivation therefore interferes with integrating new experiences and learning into accessible memories. Cerebral spinal-fluid also cleanses the brain during sleep washing away toxins. Sleep is also the only time that helps produce cells responsible for clearing dead cells and cells that restore brain tissues. Scientists hypothesis this may have a roll to play in the prevention of the development of dementia in later life. Deep sleep (stage 4) is critical for bodily regeneration and hormonal regulation while in (stage 3)deep sleep bodily functions are dropped to their lowest point and oxygen rich blood is redirected to the muscles and the brain. Both of these sleep cycles are important for the overall healing and restoration of the body as a whole. Human beings have an innate capacity to regenerate restore and heal itself, to a certain degree, when all the systems involved in this process are functioning properly: and obtaining adequate consistent sleep is one fundamental aspect of this regeneration process. These are among just a few of the crucial roles proper sleep plays in the healthy functioning of our bodies in the short and long term there are many others. I wanted to delve a little into the specific benefits of attempting to prioritize and obtain adequate sleep: because we all too often underestimate the vital role it plays in our immediate focus attention energy coping thresholds; and particularly it's inherent and indispensable value in our long term cognitive and physical health. Proper sleep has numerous health and restoration benefits that cannot be obtained through any other means. With this in mind please consider raising sleep to being to see it as the vital priority it is rather than a hindrance to the busyness of life we so readily and frequently sacrifice.
When I speak of restoration I am referring to all other means of mind body soul and self care that requires us to slow down and make a conscious decision to acknowledge and enact the importance of rest and recovery beyond maintenance of proper sleep.
If you are on a regular regime of exercising the workout itself doesn't build up your bodily systems to the contrary, by in large, it causes minor stress responses in the entire body as well as tiny tears in muscles strains and stress to joints and tendons etc. The stress response evokes the immune system to repair damage from the minor stress induced from working out both strengthening the immune system and the bodies ability to tolerate mild levels of dyshomeostasus which our body is constantly trying to maintain. This affect allows us to tolerate mild stressors and physical dysregulation with greater ease. It does not however build and restore the homeostasis and cumulative damage caused via exercise. It is essential when engaging in a regular exercise routine to include light days and total rest days. As it is only on the rest days where the injuries and stresses can repair themselves and build themselves stronger than they were previously. If you resist the rest days you only continuously tear your body down risk injury and perpetuate the immune and stress responses. As stated previously our body has the capacity to self heal, but it can only achieve this healing and even growth, if we make ourselves do what may feel contradictory and stop the continuous exercise allowing rest and recovery days. This is where the building and bodily repair is.
If you are not in the habit of regular exercise, life itself still has you on the go, people to see, places to go, something always needs our attention it seems. From the constant pinning of social network notifications, to the electric bill, that laundry basket heaping over the brim and onto the floor, our healthcare, our home care, our social connections, responsibilities, obligations, professions, families to name but a few. The endless list of to do's never to be done every day something new finds it's way onto that list, into our calendars, or email inboxes. If we allow it to do so, the very act of daily living can wear your resources physically, mentally, and emotionally, to the bare bones. It is essential that you carve out some time for yourself to do all three of these forms of restoration: relaxation, stillness, and pleasure into your life. Relaxation is taking the time to allow your body to rest and restore. This can take the form of gentle exorcise such as a walk in nature, stretching, light yoga or tai chi, or laying down, even taking a nap if necessary, our body needs to heal itself and we need to enable it the opportunity to do so. Stillness is restoration for the mind. This can take many forms as well from prayer and meditation, to laying in the grass and watching the clouds roll by, getting lost in a book or a favorite song for instance. Pleasure is the conscious decision to step away from the work of life into the life of life. Make time in your days to do things and be with people that bring you joy. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", is a saying that has stood the test of time for a reason. Pleasure is for your spirit and soul. If living begins to feel like an endless chore it will quickly suck the joy right out of you. We have to make a decision that our lives and our selves are worth stepping back enough to make room for the things we truly enjoy to fit in regularly.
We live in a society that is based on the chase. The so called 'American Dream", a never ending pursuit of productivity, goal, dream success, and aspiration chasing: and in this is the ever present unspoken but inherent connotation of our self worth; as indicated by our "capacity" to keep up, to go go go, be productive, to achieve and to "succeed." There is nothing inherently wrong with having goals dreams and aspirations quite to the contrary it is healthful to have these as aspects of our lives but far too often they become our lives. They take over our lives and we lose our-lives, ourselves, our self esteem, and most importantly our internal peace; to the faulty notion that our worth is in our achievements and ability to wring productivity or progress out of every single second of each day. Living this way too long is damaging to all levels of our health: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual; and will leave you feeling drained and empty at a minimum and legitimately physically ill and clinically depressed at a maximum.
So please for all of the reasons noted in this blog post: as well as many many many others I could spotlight but chose not to as this post is sufficiently long as it already, prioritize yourself by making rest and restoration an essential and regular part of your life.
It has been said "I am not who I am, I am not who you think I am, I am who I think you think I am" origin of the quote unknown. It has also been said that the thinking that has gotten me this far can get me no farther. I believe that is a quote from Albert Einstein.
Besides our early brain wiring and individual life experiences formulating our perspectives and beliefs our family our culture etc the people we surround ourselves with hold up mirrors to ourselves about ourselves. We live in a series of echo chambers and posses many blind spots that we ourselves are incapable of noticing as they are blind spots. The way in which we interact react and see those around us react to us provides us some manner of insight into our own inner-workings if we are careful and observant.
However if you spend your life always surrounded by the same people or the same type of people or only the people who think similarly to you or perhaps even as the lone wolf you may never have a light shed on the blind spots in your own understanding of yourself your life your desires strengths weaknesses beliefs and capacity to grow heal and improve.
We can only know what we know and only learn from what we are exposed to. Sometimes it takes broadening your exposure to people outside of your familiar circles, your similar thoughts and life style, your preexisting echo chambers and house of mirrors; to shed light, insight, inspiration, healing and growth.
The more perspectives you can garner in your life, though you needn't take them as rules as no one but you should drive your own life, the more you can see of yourself.
Blind spots exposed, new perspectives on familiar challenges of belief systems, new concepts and ideas you may never otherwise had the opportunity to consider or explore to improve and expand your life had you not made the conscious decision to seek out a new and unfamiliar individual to shine a light into your preexisting bubble and house of mirrors from holding hard and fast to your familiar safe social bubble.
In life we often focus on experiencing as much experiences as possible it is also important to expose yourself to new minds and insights as each one offers something new and precious if you pay careful attention every mind is unique and can broaden your mind and life the more minds you become exposed to.
Shake up your familiar social bubble.
It will be enlightening.
And further you may find that their insight and perspectives may hold just the keys you have been currently seeking, or the support and encouragement you have been missing, or the confidence you can barrow until you grow your own. Sometimes just one person can open your mind and your heart in ways you didn't even know you needed. But you need to make the room for and the choice to seek out this new person/people into your world with an open mind, open ears, open heart, tactful selection that they are not toxic, and a willingness to be moved from the security of the identity you have settled into, even when it is no longer serving you, from your familiar echo chambers.
Open your life to at least one new person this year. And see how things can change for and within you.
Besides our early brain wiring and individual life experiences formulating our perspectives and beliefs our family our culture etc the people we surround ourselves with hold up mirrors to ourselves about ourselves. We live in a series of echo chambers and posses many blind spots that we ourselves are incapable of noticing as they are blind spots. The way in which we interact react and see those around us react to us provides us some manner of insight into our own inner-workings if we are careful and observant.
However if you spend your life always surrounded by the same people or the same type of people or only the people who think similarly to you or perhaps even as the lone wolf you may never have a light shed on the blind spots in your own understanding of yourself your life your desires strengths weaknesses beliefs and capacity to grow heal and improve.
We can only know what we know and only learn from what we are exposed to. Sometimes it takes broadening your exposure to people outside of your familiar circles, your similar thoughts and life style, your preexisting echo chambers and house of mirrors; to shed light, insight, inspiration, healing and growth.
The more perspectives you can garner in your life, though you needn't take them as rules as no one but you should drive your own life, the more you can see of yourself.
Blind spots exposed, new perspectives on familiar challenges of belief systems, new concepts and ideas you may never otherwise had the opportunity to consider or explore to improve and expand your life had you not made the conscious decision to seek out a new and unfamiliar individual to shine a light into your preexisting bubble and house of mirrors from holding hard and fast to your familiar safe social bubble.
In life we often focus on experiencing as much experiences as possible it is also important to expose yourself to new minds and insights as each one offers something new and precious if you pay careful attention every mind is unique and can broaden your mind and life the more minds you become exposed to.
Shake up your familiar social bubble.
It will be enlightening.
And further you may find that their insight and perspectives may hold just the keys you have been currently seeking, or the support and encouragement you have been missing, or the confidence you can barrow until you grow your own. Sometimes just one person can open your mind and your heart in ways you didn't even know you needed. But you need to make the room for and the choice to seek out this new person/people into your world with an open mind, open ears, open heart, tactful selection that they are not toxic, and a willingness to be moved from the security of the identity you have settled into, even when it is no longer serving you, from your familiar echo chambers.
Open your life to at least one new person this year. And see how things can change for and within you.
- Focus on SLEEP: Go to bed at the same time and wake at the same time each night as often as possible. Train your body to get into a healthy circadian rhythm where you obtain the proper amount of sleep each night and eventually may not need to wake to alarms again. As a culture we put sleep very low on the priority list. However it is important for all systems of our body especially our brain in short and long term functioning.
- JOURNAL: Perhaps there was a time in the past you kept a journal and for whatever reason the practice vanished from your life or you have never kept a journal before. Your journal doesn't have to be a novel you can write a single sentence a day if you like their is no right or wrong way to journal. However regularly getting the thoughts feelings and ideas out of your mind and onto paper is very cathartic emotionally as well as allowing us to gain self insight as we go along in this process and retain good ideas that would otherwise have been forgotten. Keeping a journal is a very healthy practice to consider.
- READ: So many people have a hard time with this and yet desire to add reading into their lives. Perhaps you have books that have been on the shelf for years that you have been planning to get to and never seem to find the time or focus to dive in. Try A PAGE A DAY. Pick up one of those books you keep saying you'll read and devote just a few moments to read a minimum of one page a day. This is a promise you can keep to yourself. And by the years end, at a minimum, you will be well on your way to completing reading at-least one of the books on your must read list. Reading is excellent to keep our minds sharp and you will feel proud of keeping the promise to yourself and making progress this year rather than one more year passing without opening a cover.
- Drink WATER: How many times have we heard this before yet so many of us have a hard time including this in our lives. We are made largely of water and out bodies and minds function best well hydrated with it. Keep a water bottle next to your bed or coffee pot so that it is the first thing you see in the morning. This mental trigger will remind you that you intended to begin getting more water in your life. Out of sight out of mind. It's hard to change a habit even a simple one so having your water bottle visible and accessible will help make getting more in to your day easier for you to implement.
- MOVE YOUR BODY: Again I know you know this but if you haven't found a way to fit in exercise into your life this is the year to consider it. We have all been stuck in for a while now and the holidays are over it's the perfect time to begin. Start small! something as simple as stretches, ten minutes of yoga morning and night, Getting up every hour from what you are doing and walking around pacing. Taking walks. As you get fitter you can add more the goal is just to begin moving more wrapping your mind around having exercise as a part of your daily lifestyle if it is not.
- Start a SAVINGS account or focus on your savings/retirement accounts: Most people did not have minimum 6 months worth of living expenses in their savings before the pandemic began now every day is a question mark for some families and individuals. If you are in a position to have a consistent income coming in make a point to dedicate a portion of your income directly into that rainy day fund or retirement account etc. We never know what life has in store as this last year has shown us it is incredibly important to be prepared. Sacrifices now for safety later. If you are not financially out of the woods when you are on steady ground again make this a priority.
- Pay off your DEBTS : Again if you have the means eliminate debts as quickly as possible don't tap the credit cards or the cash advance offices. If you are not financially out of the woods when you are on steady ground again make this a priority
- Get SUNSHINE/natural light every day. The sun does all sorts of wonderful things for our mental and physical health. Of course use smart sun exposure. 15 minutes a day is all you need. You can get too much of a good thing. But in today's society we spend so much time indoors we are often deficient in natural sunlight.
- SAY IT WHEN YOUR SCARED: if you have something to say and you are afraid to open your mouth and speak it because of fear of the response promise yourself this year that you will say it anyway. If it as simple as no as scary as interpersonal issues or asking for a raise. If you need to say it, but find yourself pausing in silence due to fear, that you will say it anyway all year long. You may be surprised to find you get more of your wants and needs met and that your fear may be often unfounded.
- DO SOMETHING NEW/GO SOMEWHERE NEW: Do something or go somewhere before the year is done at-least one time that you have never done in your life thus far. Life is all about experiences. Often we get stuck in our routines and habits and go far too long without having new experiences. At least once a year you should add to your life by adding something new to this thing we call life through a brand new experience
- PRACTICE MORNING GRATITUDE: If you haven't yet start a gratitude journal or other practice of daily gratitude. Having survived the year we just did and moving forward if ever there was a time to learn how to center yourself in a sense of gratitude this would be that time.
- GIVE: Weather you donate time money items etc begin a practice of donating yourself to others and causes that matter to you as a part of who you are and what your lifestyle. It has been said that the giver gets more than the receiver for a reason. It will help you feel purposeful connected and fulfilled. And the need is now so great.
- Take SOCIAL MEDIA BREAKS: We are constantly connected and inundated with social media. It is contributing to over-stimulation of the nervous system, a decline in the ability to focus, and lowered self esteem as we are exposed to the "best" versions of other people's lives. It could be one day a week or one week a month. Take time this year to practice social media detox.
- Get OUTDOORS: Nature has proven positive effects on our mental health. Again we spend far too much time indoors. Make the time to regularly get outdoors. If you do suffer from a mental illness this can be particularly hard to do and conversely especially beneficial.
- SET A GOAL: small or large it doesn't matter. If you are not already in the habit of setting goals this is a good time to practice. You could set a goal to attempt any of the items on this list if you are unsure of ideas. You could set a goal as simple as I will clean out the garage by the end of the month or the end of the year to I will run a half marathon. Whatever you choose the simple act of making a decision to aim for something and following through will boost your sense of progress and self confidence.
- WRITE A LETTER or several: A little old fashioned but all the more reason to do so. To deepen relationships with those you value this year get their physical addresses and hand write a letter to them for their birthday a special occasion graduation new baby or no reason at all rather than shoot a comment on Facebook or a text. Their is something very meaningful about receiving a genuine letter.
- Go OFF GRID: Take some time, a day a month every few months, whatever fits your life to detach from technology of all kinds. We are addicted to technology. So addicted that we are scarcely able to be present in the real world that is occurring in front of us and passing us by. It also leaves us short on focus unable to be bored still or alone and understimulated and with a short attention span. Take some time to unplug slow down and plug back in to yourself your life the real world and the people in it.
- MIRROR WORK/ or 365 list of POSITIVE self attributes: FACE yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE WORTHY AS YOU ARE, and I FORGIVE YOU. OR start a list, one NEW item a day, of the positive aspects of who you are. By years end you should have 365 things about yourself that you can review and meditate on. Whichever you choose we are our own worst critic and it is often hard for many of us to list what is right with us and very easy to list what is wrong with us. These practices will improve your compassion towards yourself, combat the inner critic, and improve self love.
- Get INVOLVED in a CAUSE: From something as simple as recycling to as grand as zero waste, if for example climate change is a cause you care deeply about, adjust your lifestyle in some small or large fashion to help a cause greater than yourself. This gives us a sense of purpose, contribution, and diminishes guilt from living in a way that is misaligned to the values we hold dear.
- PRACTICE LISTENING: This year rather than waiting to chime in when others speak to and share with you, always three thoughts ahead trying to figure out what to reply, truly pay attention to the person who is sharing with you. Truly be present and listen not to reply but to hear understand and support. And when they are done, ask is there more? We improve relationships and learn when we truly listen. Talk less listen more.
- REGULARLY DE-STRESS: This past year has been especially stressful but life itself is stressful. Most of us are highly stressed some to the level of clinical anxiety disorders. We rarely make the time nor conscious effort to manage and limit our stress in a healthy fashion. If you have trouble meditating, try breathing techniques, yoga, taichi, journal, reading, self pampering such as a long bath with music and candles, taking a walk, laying in the grass looking at the clouds, Jam out to a playlist, if none of these work for you there is always the internet at your fingertips. Research ways to relax and manage stress and try diligently to make this: finding peace; a priority in your life this year. ONCE A WEEK at-least. Practice the art of peace calm and relaxation. Down regulate your overstimulated central nervous system.
GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE 2020.
It has seen us witness many unprecedented and difficult circumstances. There have been social movements take hold on whole new levels such as the black lives matter movement, a wellspring of progress and a source of instigating conflict and divisiveness for the interested few disruptions. We have seen marching in the streets and destruction in the streets. Misinformation on massive scales about this movement and many other pertinent social issues of the current times. There has been political chaos divisiveness and strife that despite a completed election still continues today both inside and outside the walls of Washington and local administrations. The political divides in this country are far beyond anything we have come to know in the past as far as the peoples combativeness and contention towards one another. If democracy is to survive it is essential we begin to lay down our metaphorical and literal arms and begin to see one another as fellow human beings not enemies to be demeaned and demonized. This only fuels to perpetuate the divide. Regardless of the outcome of the election it is imperative for the survival of our united states remaining united to begin to bridge the massive gulfs and gaps between each-other and work towards the common good of all Americans all people. To begin again to embrace the similarities for the common good rather than the differences and work collaboratively from a place of love and healing a divided and strained nation. It has been as if we have been living a real life made for tv movie some of the extremist and conspiratorial ideologies being spread so easily and fueled so readily by the disenfranchised or angered masses. We have home grown hate movements I will not list them in this particular blog perhaps I will explore them in later blogs but this website is about fostering happiness and betterment in the world and calling out groups or persuasions as misguided decisive or damaging only serves to fan the flames of division and discontent. Let's just say living in a state where their was a legitimate orchestrated plan to kidnap the Governor and try her for tyranny and break away from the United States is just one minute but clear example of the extreme fringes fueling paranoia division and chaos in the country at this time. This is not the only extremest perspective. Even now as the country needs healing and is asking the people to come together once again for the common good of all and see the common good in all there is a steady red line forming around the president urging him to fight concession to the president elect casting their political agendas careers and popularity above the common good of beginning the process of cooperation and restoration healing and moving forward. They are not setting a good example for the people to follow. This is not a republican problem or a democratic problem it is a systemic problem. Times are precarious and stressful. We have seen the death of Ruth Bater Ginsberg and new appointments to the supreme court shifting the balance of conservative and progressive though the court is supposed to be unbiased it is nearly impossible to remove oneself from oneself entirely and be objective. These are lifetime appointments and many pertinent laws are up and coming cases such as the dismantling of the affordable care act in very short order and the implications of the changes in the supreme court leave the outcomes of this and other critical issues that create the rules of law the rules of engagement now seemingly uncertain as so many other things are at this time in history. I have not even yet mentioned the fact that we have spent much of the duration of this past year experiencing a global pandemic the likes of which have not been seen since the Spanish flu of 1812. The fear of many Americans losing health coverage due to the loss of the affordable care act law is very relevant in a global pandemic. It is no longer a decision of principal it has real and extreme impacts given the situation we find ourselves in with Covid-19. Covid-19 has come at a great cost to so many. Many people world wide have lost their lives and their loved ones to this illness, not only the old or infirm, the young and otherwise healthy too have passed away or been permanently disabled due to Covid infections. And unlike the common flu those that have survived especially severe bouts with the illness have experienced a myriad of extreme complications such as strokes, having to relearn how to walk, to name but a few and further it frequently leaves permanent medical illness in lung damage that is irreversible after a severe infection. Because the infection has such a breadth of severity from asymptomatic carriers, mild flue like illness, to intubation irreversible permanent medical conditions, and death people have a hard time taking it seriously as we often like to thing with most things "that will never happen to us". Misinformation, contradictory information, pure nonfactual based opinion, and the aforementioned extremest and/or paranoid conspiratorial perspectives on the condition have further confused and conflicted people about the severity and even the reality of Covid-19: how to and even if they should protect themselves and others. We are all in the grips of a legitimate and serious highly contagious global pandemic that so very many people have died from and yet even in this we can not come to agreement even on its legitimacy let alone be compassionate and put the needs of the many above the immediate comforts and wants of ourselves.
The pandemic brought about much collaborative damage. Essential lock-downs and continual attempts to contain the pandemic which is now peaking in a second surge has forced and constriction of our economy a downturn in peoples employment and financial security. Often with their health insurance tied to their employment finding themselves losing or limited in both arenas of financial income and health coverage during a pandemic as an unforeseen consequence of the pandemic. It highlights a problem in our health coverage model tying access to coverage into employment when the worst case scenario happened people found themselves both out of work and out of insurance. Extended unemployment helped for a time but the pandemic continues the help is running out and as things became contained more people were able to return to work. However now as we are facing a second surge we also face the possibility of further limitations of businesses and operations thus also on jobs and the economy. Those who have continued working the entire time have placed their health and safety at risk considered essential caused both gratitude for job security and incredible stress for high level exposure risk. This is solely a rundown of the pandemic itself and its implications on decisiveness, fueling extremism, fueling self interest over compassion for others and the great strain it is putting on individuals and families both in and out of the labor market at this time. STRESS. ANXIETY. DEPRESSION, ISOLATION, LONELINESS, ADJUSTMENT PAINS, are all other consequences many are facing due to the dramatic but necessary changes in the operation of our daily lives and or fears of catching Covid.
I haven't delved into all of what we have all endured together this last year. A key I want to get across to you all is that all of these things and all of the stress and uncertainty the division the hatred the fear these are things WE ALL are enduring TOGETHER. We may experience them differently but we as a nation each of us are ALL in this boat together. And it is imperative we begin the process of trying to heal come together repair and move forward as things are rather than continue to sue seeds of hate and decisiveness simply because our opinion or particular personal experience with these situations is different from one another. We are the UNITED states and the only way we are going to get successfully through these trials and tribulations is to once again work to be UNITED.
To fuel the economy we must contain the virus. Listen to science. Take precautions if not for yourself for those you may infect who are not as healthy as you are. Be considerate for your fellow man. The man with cancer the child with cancer your grandmother......
To fuel the economy and support employment retention in your own community I suggest as it is close to Christmas you buy local. Go get fast food, do restaurants that do operate even pick up only, shop local for holiday gifts to keep your local economy and small businesses in business and their employees employed.
Think of others at-least as much as you think of yourself. And that means all others even if you do not understand them. Choose love over hate. Choose cooperation over conflict. Choose to be an agent of good and compassion and proactive progress in an otherwise seemingly chaotic precarious divided and resistant current climate.
And don't forget to take good care of yourself and your stress. You matter.
It's been a long tumultuous year and each of us is in it but our situation within the chaos is unique unto us.
Their is undoubtedly profound stress from various sources if even only the constant argumentativeness of the different opinions that surround you. Even if your health and resources are in a good place personally the chaos and anger of the world around and the uncertainty of what is to come affects us weather we realize it or not.
Give yourself an early Christmas Gift (or whatever holiday your celebrate this season) and DE-STRESS yourself take extra care of your mental emotional spiritual and physical welfare. Give yourself some TLC as frequently as you possibly can.
Be grateful even with all the uncertainty to come we have made it to the end of 2020. And try your best to be as kind to others as you are to yourself.... all others.
It is time for the United States once again to be truly United. This will most certainly not happen over night but it will not happen at all if each of us does not attempt to try.
It is time to begin to heal.
It has seen us witness many unprecedented and difficult circumstances. There have been social movements take hold on whole new levels such as the black lives matter movement, a wellspring of progress and a source of instigating conflict and divisiveness for the interested few disruptions. We have seen marching in the streets and destruction in the streets. Misinformation on massive scales about this movement and many other pertinent social issues of the current times. There has been political chaos divisiveness and strife that despite a completed election still continues today both inside and outside the walls of Washington and local administrations. The political divides in this country are far beyond anything we have come to know in the past as far as the peoples combativeness and contention towards one another. If democracy is to survive it is essential we begin to lay down our metaphorical and literal arms and begin to see one another as fellow human beings not enemies to be demeaned and demonized. This only fuels to perpetuate the divide. Regardless of the outcome of the election it is imperative for the survival of our united states remaining united to begin to bridge the massive gulfs and gaps between each-other and work towards the common good of all Americans all people. To begin again to embrace the similarities for the common good rather than the differences and work collaboratively from a place of love and healing a divided and strained nation. It has been as if we have been living a real life made for tv movie some of the extremist and conspiratorial ideologies being spread so easily and fueled so readily by the disenfranchised or angered masses. We have home grown hate movements I will not list them in this particular blog perhaps I will explore them in later blogs but this website is about fostering happiness and betterment in the world and calling out groups or persuasions as misguided decisive or damaging only serves to fan the flames of division and discontent. Let's just say living in a state where their was a legitimate orchestrated plan to kidnap the Governor and try her for tyranny and break away from the United States is just one minute but clear example of the extreme fringes fueling paranoia division and chaos in the country at this time. This is not the only extremest perspective. Even now as the country needs healing and is asking the people to come together once again for the common good of all and see the common good in all there is a steady red line forming around the president urging him to fight concession to the president elect casting their political agendas careers and popularity above the common good of beginning the process of cooperation and restoration healing and moving forward. They are not setting a good example for the people to follow. This is not a republican problem or a democratic problem it is a systemic problem. Times are precarious and stressful. We have seen the death of Ruth Bater Ginsberg and new appointments to the supreme court shifting the balance of conservative and progressive though the court is supposed to be unbiased it is nearly impossible to remove oneself from oneself entirely and be objective. These are lifetime appointments and many pertinent laws are up and coming cases such as the dismantling of the affordable care act in very short order and the implications of the changes in the supreme court leave the outcomes of this and other critical issues that create the rules of law the rules of engagement now seemingly uncertain as so many other things are at this time in history. I have not even yet mentioned the fact that we have spent much of the duration of this past year experiencing a global pandemic the likes of which have not been seen since the Spanish flu of 1812. The fear of many Americans losing health coverage due to the loss of the affordable care act law is very relevant in a global pandemic. It is no longer a decision of principal it has real and extreme impacts given the situation we find ourselves in with Covid-19. Covid-19 has come at a great cost to so many. Many people world wide have lost their lives and their loved ones to this illness, not only the old or infirm, the young and otherwise healthy too have passed away or been permanently disabled due to Covid infections. And unlike the common flu those that have survived especially severe bouts with the illness have experienced a myriad of extreme complications such as strokes, having to relearn how to walk, to name but a few and further it frequently leaves permanent medical illness in lung damage that is irreversible after a severe infection. Because the infection has such a breadth of severity from asymptomatic carriers, mild flue like illness, to intubation irreversible permanent medical conditions, and death people have a hard time taking it seriously as we often like to thing with most things "that will never happen to us". Misinformation, contradictory information, pure nonfactual based opinion, and the aforementioned extremest and/or paranoid conspiratorial perspectives on the condition have further confused and conflicted people about the severity and even the reality of Covid-19: how to and even if they should protect themselves and others. We are all in the grips of a legitimate and serious highly contagious global pandemic that so very many people have died from and yet even in this we can not come to agreement even on its legitimacy let alone be compassionate and put the needs of the many above the immediate comforts and wants of ourselves.
The pandemic brought about much collaborative damage. Essential lock-downs and continual attempts to contain the pandemic which is now peaking in a second surge has forced and constriction of our economy a downturn in peoples employment and financial security. Often with their health insurance tied to their employment finding themselves losing or limited in both arenas of financial income and health coverage during a pandemic as an unforeseen consequence of the pandemic. It highlights a problem in our health coverage model tying access to coverage into employment when the worst case scenario happened people found themselves both out of work and out of insurance. Extended unemployment helped for a time but the pandemic continues the help is running out and as things became contained more people were able to return to work. However now as we are facing a second surge we also face the possibility of further limitations of businesses and operations thus also on jobs and the economy. Those who have continued working the entire time have placed their health and safety at risk considered essential caused both gratitude for job security and incredible stress for high level exposure risk. This is solely a rundown of the pandemic itself and its implications on decisiveness, fueling extremism, fueling self interest over compassion for others and the great strain it is putting on individuals and families both in and out of the labor market at this time. STRESS. ANXIETY. DEPRESSION, ISOLATION, LONELINESS, ADJUSTMENT PAINS, are all other consequences many are facing due to the dramatic but necessary changes in the operation of our daily lives and or fears of catching Covid.
I haven't delved into all of what we have all endured together this last year. A key I want to get across to you all is that all of these things and all of the stress and uncertainty the division the hatred the fear these are things WE ALL are enduring TOGETHER. We may experience them differently but we as a nation each of us are ALL in this boat together. And it is imperative we begin the process of trying to heal come together repair and move forward as things are rather than continue to sue seeds of hate and decisiveness simply because our opinion or particular personal experience with these situations is different from one another. We are the UNITED states and the only way we are going to get successfully through these trials and tribulations is to once again work to be UNITED.
To fuel the economy we must contain the virus. Listen to science. Take precautions if not for yourself for those you may infect who are not as healthy as you are. Be considerate for your fellow man. The man with cancer the child with cancer your grandmother......
To fuel the economy and support employment retention in your own community I suggest as it is close to Christmas you buy local. Go get fast food, do restaurants that do operate even pick up only, shop local for holiday gifts to keep your local economy and small businesses in business and their employees employed.
Think of others at-least as much as you think of yourself. And that means all others even if you do not understand them. Choose love over hate. Choose cooperation over conflict. Choose to be an agent of good and compassion and proactive progress in an otherwise seemingly chaotic precarious divided and resistant current climate.
And don't forget to take good care of yourself and your stress. You matter.
It's been a long tumultuous year and each of us is in it but our situation within the chaos is unique unto us.
Their is undoubtedly profound stress from various sources if even only the constant argumentativeness of the different opinions that surround you. Even if your health and resources are in a good place personally the chaos and anger of the world around and the uncertainty of what is to come affects us weather we realize it or not.
Give yourself an early Christmas Gift (or whatever holiday your celebrate this season) and DE-STRESS yourself take extra care of your mental emotional spiritual and physical welfare. Give yourself some TLC as frequently as you possibly can.
Be grateful even with all the uncertainty to come we have made it to the end of 2020. And try your best to be as kind to others as you are to yourself.... all others.
It is time for the United States once again to be truly United. This will most certainly not happen over night but it will not happen at all if each of us does not attempt to try.
It is time to begin to heal.
11/1/2020 0 Comments
A THANKSGIVING LIKE NO OTHER 2020
| If you take the time to think critically and plan enough in advance this coming Thanksgiving could be one of the most meaningful Thanksgivings you have experienced in many years. Rather than look at the holiday to come as one more thing lost to Covid 19 consider it as a genuine opportunity to deepen your connections to those you love, and focus rather than on the food, on the gratitude the giving and the thanks this holiday is intended for. It can be a respite and a chance to change your mindset from devisive to unifying from hopeless to hopeful and simply take a step back for the day from the chaos that is this current time in history. Please watch the video for a complete explanation of why this unique situation is a blessing rather than a curse. It is a little early to speak Thanksgiving and yet I wanted you to have the time to thoroughly consider how you are going to choose to go about your traditions this year to make them even more meaningful and fulfilling than usual rather than feeling that you've lost out. Again please watch the video and go about making your Thanksgiving truly amazing and emotionally fulfilling regardless what's on your plates literally and figuratively this year. | |
- Natural Light
- Indoor Excersize
- Outdoors In: ie plants etc.
- Socialize Even More
- Something to Look Forward To
- Daily Destressing
- Reduce Covid Related Chaos: ie address anxieties make a schedule etc.
- Plan Ahead
- Get A Hobby
- Pick a Subject and Learn
- Rearrange or Redecorate
- Become a giver: Donate some time to others
- Count your blessings
- Cook at home : it takes time and saves money while making you feel proud and homey.
10/1/2020 0 Comments
Address Self Limiting Beliefs.
It is true that human beings are indeed limited. That is likely not how you expected me to open an inspiring blog post, about not engaging in self limiting beliefs, but it is indeed the truth. The truth or reality simply is. Fact is fact. Never will I grow a pair of wings out of my back and take flight. I can however hop on a plane.
Lets explore first the definition of self limiting beliefs: these are false beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world around us that prevent us from reaching our full capacity. The problem with self limiting beliefs is, that they are a part of your belief structure, and it is very difficult to change our belief structure even if we are able to identify our self limiting faulty beliefs.
Identifying self limiting beliefs
If you hear yourself saying," I can't, I'm not, I'm too much or not enough, I never or I always..." there's a high likelihood that you are stating a self-limiting belief.
Beginning statements like this can be an indicator of entering into a self-limiting belief. Listening to our I am statements of self definition and always or never statements may help us to narrow down our focus towards concepts that we hold about ourselves, our abilities, and our lives that are simply not true nor are they serving us.
Catching yourself beginning to use these negative and/or coming from a place of lacking descriptors when you are considering embarking on any venture in life; from trying to land a new job, approach a potential partner, picking up a new skill, or simply becoming more whole and healed, etc can be an indicator that you may have a self limiting belief in that area.
Pay attention to your inner dialogue, key into these negative statements, and challenge their validity.
Once you have become aware of a potential negative belief become curious. Ask yourself a lot of questions.
Where did you get this idea? What in your previous experience leads you to believe this? What evidence is there for this negative belief? Who told you this was true? Where did it come from?
WHAT ARE THE FACTS?
When it comes to new things every master starts as a beginner. Everyone great was once under qualified until one day they were qualified and effective: through a series of doing failing doing and failing and doing again. It is normal to feel a surge of self limiting beliefs when starting or attempting to change anything. Also when attempting something that may have proven challenging to us in the past. The fact is success comes with failure. If you succeeded with the first boyfriend or girlfriend you had ever met they would be your partner right now and how might your life be should you not have failed a few times in love to narrow down your true needs? Failure means you are trying not losing. And you can not generalize your whole future on a solitary or even a few past experiences that did not pan out as you had hoped or expected. Doing so will trap you in a self limiting belief and a plateau of non-growth in that area for life. JK Rowling had to seek out numerous publishers before she found anyone to have faith enough to say yes to Harry Potter imagine if she had decided based on the first, second, or third rejection the value of her writing or worse her worth as a person.
Another time that spurs self limiting beliefs and can help you to key into what yours are is anything that causes you a hint of fear or anxiety. I am not speaking of running from legitimate danger: of course run! I am speaking of things like public speaking, and the like. When everything in you tells you to run but theirs nothing to run from. If it evokes anxiety and feelings of not being good enough you need to again ask yourself what evidence you have for this? Check the validity of those thoughts and feelings based on the reality of the situation. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could possibly happen? And then ask yourself what is the best thing that could possibly happen?
It has been said numerous times in numerous ways I am going to plagiarize, no not that this: the only thing to fear is fear itself. The way to test and breakthrough these self limiting beliefs is to stand your ground take action and not run. To do that which you feel unworthy of attempting. And repeat. Try not to fear the fear or embarrassment or failure. Expect it. Embrace it. Until it no longer fazes you, as you are not valuable based on the quality of your performance. Who knows you may knock it out of the park right off the bat, if you weren't so afraid, and convincing yourself that you can't do it. Also as previously stated no one is great until eventually they are every master started as a novice. Every-time you do, you will get stronger, better, and more at ease in with whatever self limiting notion your grappling against. In other-words every time you do it you will improve and feel less unworthy.
Another avenue to identify and challenge self-limiting beliefs simultaneously is to turn to trusted others whom you value and trust their opinion and ask them to objectively tell you what they see as your strengths and weaknesses. This can give you a more objective perspective that can be hard for us to see from within ourselves. You must take care not to be hurt by any statements of strengths and weaknesses noted even if they differ from your own beliefs of yourself. Different people see things differently so getting a handful of objective opinions is helpful here. Remember no ones opinion is anymore valuable or truthful than your own. But you can use what you garner from doing this exercise to help identify some areas you may need to strengthen and grow in that you weren't previously aware of. This is not a bad thing. Every weakness is an opportunity to grow. As I stated to begin with you may not indeed be able to grow wings, but once you know that you need to fly, you can find a way around the limitation to reach your intended ends like boarding that plane. And opportunities to grow are themselves a gift. Further the list of strengths may surprise you. You may even find that what you perceived as a limitation others perceived as strengths you posses.
Actively challenge your self beliefs
You should challenge these beliefs in internal dialogue and external action testing. Test the validity by challenging these false self perceptions that hold you back in life. At the very minimum to increase your self esteem and sense of worthiness to the level where it belongs . And even if some of your beliefs turn out not to be false but true they do not need to be self limiting. A challenge can be conquered, a limitation can be adapted, a weakness only becomes a limit when you believe it limits you. Some of the most inspiring and profound people, Steven Hawking for example, had some of the greatest "limitations" he chose not to make them self limiting.
Work to identify, challenge, and change your own self limiting beliefs and you can begin to set yourself free from yourself.
Lets explore first the definition of self limiting beliefs: these are false beliefs that we hold about ourselves and the world around us that prevent us from reaching our full capacity. The problem with self limiting beliefs is, that they are a part of your belief structure, and it is very difficult to change our belief structure even if we are able to identify our self limiting faulty beliefs.
Identifying self limiting beliefs
If you hear yourself saying," I can't, I'm not, I'm too much or not enough, I never or I always..." there's a high likelihood that you are stating a self-limiting belief.
Beginning statements like this can be an indicator of entering into a self-limiting belief. Listening to our I am statements of self definition and always or never statements may help us to narrow down our focus towards concepts that we hold about ourselves, our abilities, and our lives that are simply not true nor are they serving us.
Catching yourself beginning to use these negative and/or coming from a place of lacking descriptors when you are considering embarking on any venture in life; from trying to land a new job, approach a potential partner, picking up a new skill, or simply becoming more whole and healed, etc can be an indicator that you may have a self limiting belief in that area.
Pay attention to your inner dialogue, key into these negative statements, and challenge their validity.
Once you have become aware of a potential negative belief become curious. Ask yourself a lot of questions.
Where did you get this idea? What in your previous experience leads you to believe this? What evidence is there for this negative belief? Who told you this was true? Where did it come from?
WHAT ARE THE FACTS?
When it comes to new things every master starts as a beginner. Everyone great was once under qualified until one day they were qualified and effective: through a series of doing failing doing and failing and doing again. It is normal to feel a surge of self limiting beliefs when starting or attempting to change anything. Also when attempting something that may have proven challenging to us in the past. The fact is success comes with failure. If you succeeded with the first boyfriend or girlfriend you had ever met they would be your partner right now and how might your life be should you not have failed a few times in love to narrow down your true needs? Failure means you are trying not losing. And you can not generalize your whole future on a solitary or even a few past experiences that did not pan out as you had hoped or expected. Doing so will trap you in a self limiting belief and a plateau of non-growth in that area for life. JK Rowling had to seek out numerous publishers before she found anyone to have faith enough to say yes to Harry Potter imagine if she had decided based on the first, second, or third rejection the value of her writing or worse her worth as a person.
Another time that spurs self limiting beliefs and can help you to key into what yours are is anything that causes you a hint of fear or anxiety. I am not speaking of running from legitimate danger: of course run! I am speaking of things like public speaking, and the like. When everything in you tells you to run but theirs nothing to run from. If it evokes anxiety and feelings of not being good enough you need to again ask yourself what evidence you have for this? Check the validity of those thoughts and feelings based on the reality of the situation. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could possibly happen? And then ask yourself what is the best thing that could possibly happen?
It has been said numerous times in numerous ways I am going to plagiarize, no not that this: the only thing to fear is fear itself. The way to test and breakthrough these self limiting beliefs is to stand your ground take action and not run. To do that which you feel unworthy of attempting. And repeat. Try not to fear the fear or embarrassment or failure. Expect it. Embrace it. Until it no longer fazes you, as you are not valuable based on the quality of your performance. Who knows you may knock it out of the park right off the bat, if you weren't so afraid, and convincing yourself that you can't do it. Also as previously stated no one is great until eventually they are every master started as a novice. Every-time you do, you will get stronger, better, and more at ease in with whatever self limiting notion your grappling against. In other-words every time you do it you will improve and feel less unworthy.
Another avenue to identify and challenge self-limiting beliefs simultaneously is to turn to trusted others whom you value and trust their opinion and ask them to objectively tell you what they see as your strengths and weaknesses. This can give you a more objective perspective that can be hard for us to see from within ourselves. You must take care not to be hurt by any statements of strengths and weaknesses noted even if they differ from your own beliefs of yourself. Different people see things differently so getting a handful of objective opinions is helpful here. Remember no ones opinion is anymore valuable or truthful than your own. But you can use what you garner from doing this exercise to help identify some areas you may need to strengthen and grow in that you weren't previously aware of. This is not a bad thing. Every weakness is an opportunity to grow. As I stated to begin with you may not indeed be able to grow wings, but once you know that you need to fly, you can find a way around the limitation to reach your intended ends like boarding that plane. And opportunities to grow are themselves a gift. Further the list of strengths may surprise you. You may even find that what you perceived as a limitation others perceived as strengths you posses.
Actively challenge your self beliefs
You should challenge these beliefs in internal dialogue and external action testing. Test the validity by challenging these false self perceptions that hold you back in life. At the very minimum to increase your self esteem and sense of worthiness to the level where it belongs . And even if some of your beliefs turn out not to be false but true they do not need to be self limiting. A challenge can be conquered, a limitation can be adapted, a weakness only becomes a limit when you believe it limits you. Some of the most inspiring and profound people, Steven Hawking for example, had some of the greatest "limitations" he chose not to make them self limiting.
Work to identify, challenge, and change your own self limiting beliefs and you can begin to set yourself free from yourself.
This can be a difficult question for some of us to answer. Some of us haven't done enough introspection to begin to analyze themselves and their lives on a deeper level to try to figure out what is missing. Some people are simply to busy or too overwhelmed with life's to do's to have taken the time to take a long hard objective look inward at themselves and their lives. Others among us have great longing and a sense of emotional upheaval when they do attempt to ponder what is missing in themselves and their lives.
It is however a most important question to ask oneself. It is important to take the time, as our time in this life is limited we owe it to ourselves, and to endure the pain of introspection on this question as the pain is unavoidable even if you avoid the question. In avoiding trying to discover what is truly missing in oneself and in ones life they end up missing having it in their life and this too causes pain. At least the pain of enduring and endeavoring to find an answer to this question provides the possibility of enduring limited pain and a potentially far more fulfilling life with the possible realization of what is missing.
It's also important when asking yourself this question that you go deep not superficial such as money and new cars. Think of what you feel you must have must experience in order to feel as though you are complete and have lived a full life.
Asking the question not only opens the door for the possibility of having the true need manifest in your life: and self rather than leading a life without ever having received or even attempted to receive those true needs; it prevents you from blindly often unconsciously seeking other things misguidedly attempting to fill the holes inside yourself and life.
If we have needs that are not being met we feel as though their is a hole in our soul and we risk the propensity to reach out to unhealthy means to mask and fill that hole inside of us. Be it over eating over working overindulgence of any kind or worser afflictions such as addictions frivolous spending pleasure seeking: or the reverse folding in upon oneself in anxiety depression insecurity aggression: weather we act out or act in nothing but the true need can fill the whole that resides inside of you and inside of your life.
If we miss out on seeking an answer for what we truly need we miss out on finding it and risk filling the holes in our hearts and lives with self destruction and drama that creates itself more problems and discomfort. If you find yourself acting out or acting in you may indeed be trying to cover and fill wholes that need tending. The problems are superficial even if serious they are not the source of your pain.
So I urge you whatever your age or stage in life to ask yourself , in this one and only life we get to experience what is it that you NEED in yourself and in your life. Seek the true deep answer and then seek to attain fulfilling that need with the real piece of your soul you can't be content without. You will find great peace in the least in understanding yourself and your actions better and in the process of trying to fulfill the need properly and at best you may indeed find what you seek.
It is however a most important question to ask oneself. It is important to take the time, as our time in this life is limited we owe it to ourselves, and to endure the pain of introspection on this question as the pain is unavoidable even if you avoid the question. In avoiding trying to discover what is truly missing in oneself and in ones life they end up missing having it in their life and this too causes pain. At least the pain of enduring and endeavoring to find an answer to this question provides the possibility of enduring limited pain and a potentially far more fulfilling life with the possible realization of what is missing.
It's also important when asking yourself this question that you go deep not superficial such as money and new cars. Think of what you feel you must have must experience in order to feel as though you are complete and have lived a full life.
Asking the question not only opens the door for the possibility of having the true need manifest in your life: and self rather than leading a life without ever having received or even attempted to receive those true needs; it prevents you from blindly often unconsciously seeking other things misguidedly attempting to fill the holes inside yourself and life.
If we have needs that are not being met we feel as though their is a hole in our soul and we risk the propensity to reach out to unhealthy means to mask and fill that hole inside of us. Be it over eating over working overindulgence of any kind or worser afflictions such as addictions frivolous spending pleasure seeking: or the reverse folding in upon oneself in anxiety depression insecurity aggression: weather we act out or act in nothing but the true need can fill the whole that resides inside of you and inside of your life.
If we miss out on seeking an answer for what we truly need we miss out on finding it and risk filling the holes in our hearts and lives with self destruction and drama that creates itself more problems and discomfort. If you find yourself acting out or acting in you may indeed be trying to cover and fill wholes that need tending. The problems are superficial even if serious they are not the source of your pain.
So I urge you whatever your age or stage in life to ask yourself , in this one and only life we get to experience what is it that you NEED in yourself and in your life. Seek the true deep answer and then seek to attain fulfilling that need with the real piece of your soul you can't be content without. You will find great peace in the least in understanding yourself and your actions better and in the process of trying to fulfill the need properly and at best you may indeed find what you seek.
6/12/2020 0 Comments
Be Sure of Who YOU Are.
When embarking on a journey to find joy through building a life worth living seeking balance goals passions stability and exposure to positive and inspiring environments and information it is important to dedicate some time towards inward reflection and critical self observation.
Sometimes people are unhappy because they are unsure of who they are and or what they want. Even those who are certain can potentially be engulfed: and lose themselves in the practices aims and habits of others; or obligations of life, to the extent that they lose themselves and are unable to find an avenue that really sparks something inside of them.
All avenues are practices intended to inspire invigorate and shore up ones identity. We can change and modify our lives by modifying our personality. The ego the identity is a pliable thing. You can choose to be almost whoever and whatever you wish to be at any moment in your life by changing self definitions and behaviors. However be careful that when embarking on modifying yourself you are truly modifying and pursing the fullest capacity of your own joy and self expression as a human. Or in the end you may feel a slave to the habits and routines of others as you already are to those things in your life currently that enslave you and prevent you from leading the life and being the person YOU wish to be and ARE and ARE CAPABLE of being beneath all the traps poor habits and mistaken beliefs that you have told yourself overtime about who you are and your own limitations.
We can get swallowed up in the feel good vibes of a new practice or skill that makes us feel good to the point it becomes a new obsession, a new have to, to the point we feel as obligated to do so as we did to do those things we are trying to rid our selves of and overcome. Veganism, yoga, spirituality, morning routines, evening routines, mindfulness, the list goes on and on. These are paths not an end into themselves. Use these tools to explore yourself and the capacities within you. Your strengths your desires to grow and gain insight. Modify and clarify the person you are in your core and aim to become not as a trap or an accessory to a false image you wish to project about yourself. Use the tools to become more of you not a caricature of aspects you believe make you appear worthy enough. You already are. You aren't destroying the identity to create a false you. You are tearing away the faulty beleifs and habbits that have restricted you from becoming who you are.
Sometimes people are unhappy because they are unsure of who they are and or what they want. Even those who are certain can potentially be engulfed: and lose themselves in the practices aims and habits of others; or obligations of life, to the extent that they lose themselves and are unable to find an avenue that really sparks something inside of them.
All avenues are practices intended to inspire invigorate and shore up ones identity. We can change and modify our lives by modifying our personality. The ego the identity is a pliable thing. You can choose to be almost whoever and whatever you wish to be at any moment in your life by changing self definitions and behaviors. However be careful that when embarking on modifying yourself you are truly modifying and pursing the fullest capacity of your own joy and self expression as a human. Or in the end you may feel a slave to the habits and routines of others as you already are to those things in your life currently that enslave you and prevent you from leading the life and being the person YOU wish to be and ARE and ARE CAPABLE of being beneath all the traps poor habits and mistaken beliefs that you have told yourself overtime about who you are and your own limitations.
We can get swallowed up in the feel good vibes of a new practice or skill that makes us feel good to the point it becomes a new obsession, a new have to, to the point we feel as obligated to do so as we did to do those things we are trying to rid our selves of and overcome. Veganism, yoga, spirituality, morning routines, evening routines, mindfulness, the list goes on and on. These are paths not an end into themselves. Use these tools to explore yourself and the capacities within you. Your strengths your desires to grow and gain insight. Modify and clarify the person you are in your core and aim to become not as a trap or an accessory to a false image you wish to project about yourself. Use the tools to become more of you not a caricature of aspects you believe make you appear worthy enough. You already are. You aren't destroying the identity to create a false you. You are tearing away the faulty beleifs and habbits that have restricted you from becoming who you are.
- Shop alternative stores such as Aldis Savealot and dollar general.
- Ditch the prepackaged small items and buy these in bulk
- Take advantage of sale and clearance items.
- Be willing to loose a few of your former "basics" that are not necessities.
- Be willing to loose the name brands and try the store brands instead.
- Pre-plan your meals before you shop so you have what you need and no more or less.
- Coupons. I know this one is a throw back but the right ones can really get you a good deal.
- Don't shop when you are hungry you are more likely to buy impulsively and irrationally
- Use what you already have until it is nearly gone. We let food go to waste over purchasing.
- Bake your own breads. cookies cakes etc flour eggs buisquik chickpeas yeast sugar water or milk
- Shop the lowest shelves the most expensive items are eye level.
- Bring a list and a calculator with you. Set a budget and stick to it.
- Limit impulse buys even if they are on sale if they are unnecessary
- Don't buy too much food so that some of it may go to waste before you can finish it.
- Dehydrate, freeze, and otherwise properly store your foods to get the ultimate shelf life from them.
- Eat in order of what goes bad first not what sounds best in the moment.
- Get creative. Sometimes the best meals come when theres little in the house.
- Skip organic for now
- Pack your pantry items not with chips and snacks but with non perishable real foods like tinned veg and meat
- Relearn a love for grits and oatmeal.
- Frozen fruit is just as healthy as fresh but lasts longer.
- Know what you have in the house before you shop and end up with duplicates and incomplete meals.
- Grow your own little garden. sprouts peppers tomatoes strawberries chives and the like.
- Steer clear of the fast food use the money for the grocery bill
- If you are truly facing food scarcity and an inability to pay there are food banks available
- Consider alternate protein sources such as beans and yogurt soybean eggs and tuna
- Shop with a basket instead of a cart or a smaller cart it forces you to be more thoughtful of your purchases.
- Use the time to be more of a mindful and intentional shopper. So that when this time has passed and the prices have fallen back to a normal range your way of shopping may have changed enough that you can use some of that money you would have otherwise spent on food on other things.
The great and powerful "they" say that loneliness has been proven to be as detrimental to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day! You can be alone and not be lonely. There are those among us who are lone wolves preferring to be unto themselves but they are few and far between. Humans are pack animals and we are biologically wired to require human bonding and human touch. The sense of loneliness can trigger depression, which can be lethal, but even the biological response to lack of human contact does physiological damage. There is some truth to what John Lennon wrote "All you need is love", quite literally it is a need, as food sunshine and oxygen lack of bonding creates oxidative damage to our cells.
This however doesn't mean you should go run right out and collect as many or any random people into your life as possible. Not every person is a good fit and worse still there are toxic people who literally cause damage to your overall welfare; practically, emotionally, your health, and even your sanity can be stripped from you by allowing the wrong people into close proximity to you.
Be selective with whom you choose to allow into your life and at what level. Surround yourself with only quality people. Distance yourself from destructive and toxic relationships. It is important we have bonds with others but only the healthy ones help us. Don't be so reliant on escaping a sense of loneliness you hop from the pan into the fire of a toxic situation. You can't cure a problem by creating another.
Be patient trying to find people to connect with if you are in an isolated situation. It will be worth your wait. And it is also a measure of quality over quantity when it comes to close relationships. There is only so much time in a day and time in a life you can't make a deep bond spreading yourself thin among a multitude of others in an attempt to fill a void or seek popularity. Popularity seeking is a stage we should have outgrown after adolescence. A focus on a few meaningful close bonds is where our aim should be as adults. It also takes time to grow close with others and you need to keep your circle small enough that you have the time and energy required to dedicate to building that relationship.
In the mean time if you find yourself feeling isolated recognize that the only one who can change this is you. You have to reach out to seek other people or be more vulnerable and open with those that already surround you taking risks to make acquaintances into friends. Remember there is hope the situation can change.
And fill yourself up in the mean time. Clarify who you are what you want in life while alone embrace the you time to grow. And fill the spaces with plants pets and social opportunities like joining a church or other organization in your community or volunteering your time. All of these things enrich your life while allowing you to put yourself out there in the world where you may indeed meet some quality people.
This post is primarily for the lonely ones. But you can be surrounded in others and still feel alone. If your friendships are not close enough that you can be yourself and make a real bond or the bonds you have are toxic and detrimental to you. These too can be improved if you let down your walls to the right ones draw closer and drop the toxic ones from you life.
Loneliness kills. But it doesn't have to kill you. If you take hold of the situation put yourself out there in the world and mind the caliber of the people you associate with and the willingness you have to let them in close.
They say were the sum of our 5 closest friends so choose carefully.
-Me-
This however doesn't mean you should go run right out and collect as many or any random people into your life as possible. Not every person is a good fit and worse still there are toxic people who literally cause damage to your overall welfare; practically, emotionally, your health, and even your sanity can be stripped from you by allowing the wrong people into close proximity to you.
Be selective with whom you choose to allow into your life and at what level. Surround yourself with only quality people. Distance yourself from destructive and toxic relationships. It is important we have bonds with others but only the healthy ones help us. Don't be so reliant on escaping a sense of loneliness you hop from the pan into the fire of a toxic situation. You can't cure a problem by creating another.
Be patient trying to find people to connect with if you are in an isolated situation. It will be worth your wait. And it is also a measure of quality over quantity when it comes to close relationships. There is only so much time in a day and time in a life you can't make a deep bond spreading yourself thin among a multitude of others in an attempt to fill a void or seek popularity. Popularity seeking is a stage we should have outgrown after adolescence. A focus on a few meaningful close bonds is where our aim should be as adults. It also takes time to grow close with others and you need to keep your circle small enough that you have the time and energy required to dedicate to building that relationship.
In the mean time if you find yourself feeling isolated recognize that the only one who can change this is you. You have to reach out to seek other people or be more vulnerable and open with those that already surround you taking risks to make acquaintances into friends. Remember there is hope the situation can change.
And fill yourself up in the mean time. Clarify who you are what you want in life while alone embrace the you time to grow. And fill the spaces with plants pets and social opportunities like joining a church or other organization in your community or volunteering your time. All of these things enrich your life while allowing you to put yourself out there in the world where you may indeed meet some quality people.
This post is primarily for the lonely ones. But you can be surrounded in others and still feel alone. If your friendships are not close enough that you can be yourself and make a real bond or the bonds you have are toxic and detrimental to you. These too can be improved if you let down your walls to the right ones draw closer and drop the toxic ones from you life.
Loneliness kills. But it doesn't have to kill you. If you take hold of the situation put yourself out there in the world and mind the caliber of the people you associate with and the willingness you have to let them in close.
They say were the sum of our 5 closest friends so choose carefully.
-Me-
WRITE TO YOUR CURRENT SELF FROM YOUR FUTURE SELF
WRITE TO YOUR YOUNG SELF FROM YOUR CURRENT SELF
WRITE TO THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU.
These symbolic activities allow us to change our perspective and release intangible trapped negative feelings by putting them into a tangible context one can release hold and relinquish.
WRITE TO YOUR YOUNG SELF FROM YOUR CURRENT SELF
WRITE TO THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU.
These symbolic activities allow us to change our perspective and release intangible trapped negative feelings by putting them into a tangible context one can release hold and relinquish.
Author
Building this is building mastery. It is learning a new skill. It is making time for myself to achieve a goal. A plan enacted imperfectly now is better than a plan enacted perfectly never. Life is a dance not a destination. Even in enacting this I am becoming happy. Letting go of self doubt fear of criticism and learning a skill from the bottom up. Go with me grow with me. Lets get happy. :)
FIND MORE HAPPY ON YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK search Brena Merkle
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