The 15 most common cognitive distortions.

A cognitive distortion is when your mind tricks you into perceiving and believing things that are not factual nor true. There are many cognitive distortions; and they tend to leave us falsely convinced that ourselves, our life, and our world, is more negative than it actually is.

Below is a list of 15 of the more common cognitive distortions

1. Filtering - This occurs when we pick out a single negative aspect of a situation to focus on and magnify it while minimizing or entirely excluding to be aware of the positive elements of the situation so that the overall vision we are left with is one of overwhelming negativity.
        An example of this would be focusing on the cake frosting being the wrong color on your wedding day. So extremely is this error magnified and intently focused on and the totality of the rest of the preparations minimized that your left with the feeling that "the whole day is going to be a disaster!" because of one tiny detail.

2. Polarized thinking also known as black and white thinking - This is when an individual has a hard time seeing and navigating the many shades of grey in life as well as difficulty with identity and relating with others. A situation, a person, even themselves are either/or not both/and or possibly.
     An example of this would be when you do well at something you are a success or a good person, if you fail or do poorly you are a terrible or bad person. There is no in-between.  Everything is all one way or the other and that can change depending on the moment.

3. Over-Generalization - This occurs when we take a solitary or few small instances and expand them to appear to be an endless pattern of bad luck, misery, defeat etc.
    An example of this is if you were not very popular in grade school you continue to assume as a given that people simply will not or can not like or accept you into your adulthood and may maintain this belief for the duration of your life based on faulty evidence expanded.

4. Jumping to conclusions - This is when we bypass any evidence or verification of our gut reaction/instinct toward a situation or person and make a determination in our minds about what something is or means.
   An example of this is that your spouse or partner seems quiet and down and you automatically assume that you are the problem and have done something to upset them or that there is trouble in your relationship without so much as asking the other person what is upsetting them that likely may have nothing to do with you or the relationship you are sure of your conclusion.

5. Catastrophizing - Happens when we leap to the worst possible scenario or outcome in a situation. Often catastrophic thinking comes with a lot of worry anxiety and "what if this happened." types of thinking.
    An example of this would be if your partner/spouse is a little late arriving home after work and you automatically begin to fear or suspect they are having an affair. This is also jumping to conclusions. Or a second example would be that you feel a flutter in your chest and are automatically convinced this is a heart attack.

6. Personalization - This is when we presume that what other people do or say is a direct result of us.
    As mentioned above your downtrodden partner is upset because of something you did would be an example of this thinking. Seeing your boss angry and presuming you have made some mistake on the job would be another example.

7. Control Fallacies - If we feel as though we are being controlled; we will be the victim of life, fate, at the mercy of everything rather than having power and agency in our lives. If we feel as though we are able to control too much; we are left feeling unrealistically responsible for the emotions and choices of others and things outside of our control.
     An example of this is when we find ourselves feeling responsible for the emotions of other people; or when we feel that we have no control over our own emotions and behaviors, that we have no agency.

8. Fallacy of Fairness- This is the belief that life is always fair and just. What creates negativity with this beleif system is when there is dissonance between the belief and the reality. When bad things happen  to good people, when the right person is turned down for the promotion and it is given to a new comer with no experience due to nepotism; for instance. This fosters confusion and other negative feelings.

9. Blaming - This happens when we hold other people responsible for our emotions and behaviors or conversely we blame ourselves for theirs.
        An example of this is when we lash out in anger losing our temper in a disagreement and blame the other person for "making" us feel angry. In truth no one can control another persons emotions or behaviors.

10. Shoulds - This occurs when we have an unconscious beleif system about how ourselves and others "should" behave. This thinking pattern leaves us feeling angry at others when they don't act accordingly and guilty or shameful with ourselves when we fall outside of our expectations.
     An example of this is whenever you catch yourself saying things like "Well you should have.... or I should..." Try eliminating the word should from your vocabulary for a more beneficial term such as could. Don't "Should" on yourself.

11. Emotional Reasoning - This happens when we believe that our emotions are facts. If you feel bored or lazy than you ARE boring and lazy. Emotions are information but not to be taken as literal fact.
      An example of this is when we catch ourselves reacting to our emotions rather than taking them into account and acting with our logic; or when we catch ourselves identifying ourselves as the emotion we are feeling.

12. Fallacy of change. This is when we try to change others. We do this often times because we believe that our own happiness hinges entirely upon the other person/persons. This leaves us feeling powerless on many levels and often frustrated or disappointed.
       An example of this if readily found in romantic relationships when a partner believes they can shape, mold, or change the other person.

13. Global labeling - This is an extreme version of overgeneralizing, when an individual takes a minute situation aspect or moment and defines their entire perspective, self, or life based upon it.
    An example of this would be when we try something a test for instance and we fail. Taking that solitary instance of failing a test and transforming it into a belief that you are always have been and always will be a failure.

14. Always being right- This occurs when we have the belief that we must always be right. Being wrong is so unthinkable that we become close minded to any other points of view and fight to justify ourselves even if the information is shown to be incorrect.
    An example of this would be an inability to successfully resolve conflicts as you often find you have to have the last word and final say because you "know" your opinion is the "right" point of view.

15. Heavenly Reward Fallacy- You may also think of this as martyrdom. The belief that our self sacrifice denial etc will pay off in the end. Consistently thinking in such a manner leaves us feeling disappointed, frustrated, etc when the reward or anticipated payback doesn't come.
     An example of this is when you put your own needs on the back burner to support your spouse/partner's aspirations. When you become the "rescuer" for an addicted loved one. Or find yourself in any way putting your own life on the back burner under the faulty assumption that their will be some positive benefit outcome or praise waiting for you in the end as a result of this self sacrificing.


It is useful to attempt to recognize common cognitive distortions in ourselves because they are nonfactual interpretations of the world, others, and ourselves, that only serve to leave us frequently experiencing life as more negative than it actually is.

If you find yourself somewhere in the above list don't feel ashamed these are common distortions of reality perception. Do however do your best to address the miss perception for the betterment of your experience of life, self, relationships, and mood.

Cognitive distortions can be hard to recognize and even harder to change because they are false beliefs and a beleif is hard to change. If you realize you may have some you may need to consider seeking professional help to assist you in navigating adapting your perception and approach to life for a better overall quality of life.